Helena watched the door slam behind Bette.

God, she was provoked, outraged, angry, infuriated and all other synonyms for that emotion. She wanted to scream, smash something, do something violent to vent out all that anger inside her.  

She stomped into her room, grabbed her pillow and screamed into it.

She was angry at Bette for accusing her of being insincere about the things she said. She was angry at herself for over-reacting just a tad bit too much.

Finally, she stopped screaming when her anger began to slowly subside.

Helena tossed the pillow aside and slumped down against the wall feeling slightly ridiculous about screaming into a pillow like some psycho.

She took five deep breaths to calm herself down as she told herself repetitively, there is absolutely no need to get so agitated.

Five deep breaths wasn’t enough to calm herself down and so, she took another five more.

Get a grip, Helena.

Another five more deep breaths.

Be rational, be rational, be rational…

And another five more.

Calm down, calm down, calm down…

Meanwhile…

Bette was sitting on the steps at the bottom of the stairways to their apartment.

“Fuckfuckfuckfuck.” She muttered, rubbing her fingers roughly against each other.

The anger in her was still raging as she continued to breathe heavily.

She was angry at the fact that Helena was always making empty apologies. It was as if she had no clue what she was apologizing for, or even worse, she was just saying sorry for the sake of saying it.

She was even angrier at the fact that Helena had indirectly brought her trust issues up when she knew perfectly well that it was a very sensitive subject and that she was struggling with it.

And out of the blue, she had an overwhelming urge to start stuffing herself with crap or to go for an insanely long run.

Bette knew that she needed to return to the apartment to do either of that. She got up from the steps and began making her way up. Just as she was approaching the top, she stopped. Her pride got the best of her. She wasn’t going to just walk back in after a big fight with Helena.

She turned around and made her way back down.

After some time and countless deep breaths, Helena finally managed to regain her composure. 

Put yourself in Bette’s shoes, would I have reacted the same way, she questioned herself in her head.

“I absolutely would not.” She answered her own question out loud.

Liar, her conscious snapped at her.

Helena thought for a moment. She definitely did not like it when Bette ditched her and goes for lunch with the other girl instead.

She then stubbornly and reluctantly admitted that Bette’s reaction was justified.

But there was certainly no need to get nasty and mean about it.

I wouldn’t be so hurtful land mean about it, she thought to herself.

Liar, her conscious snapped at her again.

She imagined herself to be in a situation whereby Bette and the other girl were dating

Hopefully not.

 And Bette was to constantly bail on her on the very last minute.

Okay, fine…

Again, she stubbornly and reluctantly admitted that she would have been as hurtful or even more hurtful than Bette was.

Having to admit both of that, an overwhelming sense of guilt washed over her. She had been neglecting Bette for the past months and could only imagine how hurt and the frustrations that Bette had felt whenever she cancelled on her.

She felt contrite, she wanted to apologize.

But the problem was, would Bette accept her apology after all the empty promises and sorrys?

Helena got up from the floor and picked up her phone from the dressing table. She pressed on one, the number assigned to speed dial Bette. Right at the moment when she was about to press on the call button, there was an incoming call.

El was calling.