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Sweet Dreams-Chapter 5
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She rubs her thumb against my cheek softly, and I close my eyes. Finally, I’m able to absorb the comfort she’s been trying to give me. She begins speaking, and I can feel her breath against my face. I open my eyes to meet her gaze.
“Bette, I don’t understand why you felt like you had to keep this from me all this time. I would have understood. I would have respected your choices. I would have accepted you. Don’t you know that my love for you is unconditional?” Her eyes water and I’m powerless to comfort her. I don’t have it in me to help her right now.
I weakly begin, “While I was in foster care, I was known as the girl with the crazy father. Every time I told someone in that stupid little town my name, they’d look at me with horror or with pity. I vowed that I would leave that life and that identity behind. Jennifer would be no more. I chose Bette Porter because it sounds like a strong, powerful woman, and that’s what I am. That’s what I became. I had to be strong, or I would have never survived.
I feel my alpha status return as I continue, “The things that I’ve gone through would have suffocated me if I was weak. After I started doing well in the art world, I forgot all about Jennifer’s life. Only when I turned 40 did all those memories come flooding back. All that fear and weakness and insecurity came back. These damn nightmares started, and I haven’t had a decent night of sleep since. I’m sorry for lying to you, but I did what I felt I had to do.”
“Does Alice or anybody know about it?”
“No one. You’re the first to know. I meant it when I said I left that life in the past. I have not talked about it since I was 14 years old. I knew I wanted to spend my life with you, so I felt I owed it to you and to our relationship to tell you. I was afraid that once you knew I lied, and you knew my history, you’d change your mind. That’s what’s held me back from telling you: Fear. I’ve lost anybody who’s ever meant anything to me, and I couldn’t stand to lose you too. I love you, Tina.”
“Alice is still around…so you haven’t lost everybody.” She says jokingly as a way of lightening the mood.
“Yeah, unfortunately.” I reply in that same joking manner.
Her facial expression turns serious as she speaks. “Bette, I’m not angry with you. I wish you would have felt more comfortable telling me sooner, but considering the circumstances, I understand. It was horrible what you went through, and I can’t pretend to know what it’s like, but I’m always here for you. You know that. And I know to you it seems logical, but baby, just because your father and his mother both had a mental problem, that doesn’t mean you will. Ok?”
I nod wearily.
“I promise I won’t mention this to anyone. I respect your privacy. As a side note, I can’t imagine your name being Jennifer. You don’t look like a Jennifer to me.” She smiles, and we rest in a comfortable silence.
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Great update! I knew Tina would come through. I want it all…continue this story and your spectacular NC-17’s!
I knew Tina would be great about it. Umm what happened to page two? PPS
I knew the Tina that we all love would have had this reaction to Bettes confession. We knew that she would not have loved Bette any less, if anything, she would have shown her more love and compassion. Now that Bette has talked with Tina and now knows that she still loves her and will not leave her, nor does she think any less of her, Bettes mind should be at rest. NOw I think for Bettes own peace of mind she should seek the help of a professional and know that she has not inherited that trait. Even if she has a mild case, it can be treated successfullly. Hopefully she will not have inherited any of the traits that her father and grmother had. After all her mother did not have any of these traits and hopefully Bette did not inherit any of them at all. Hopefully now Bette can get the rest she has been missing and the nightmares will stop. Thanks for posting. Keep writing and we’ll keep reading.
you wrote the tina we all love… i knew she would be there for bette… love this… and yes please continue with tnis and if you are up to it.. post some 1 chapter NC’s .. we won’t complain… pps
that was short-u tossed us a bone; well, i hope Bette does develop schizophrenia it is such a debilitating disorder. hope they will be happy–plz continue the story; i prefer s/l over NC17s.
SORRY- I meant i hope bette does NOT develop schizophrenia…sorree!!
Thanks for the post! This was definitely the only outcome I could see given Tina’s love for Bette and of course it was the most desirable one. =) Continue this and post some NC-17s! =) PPS
Thank you that was so lovely. Please continue with this and you must also do those NC-17s for sure. :) Thank you for this story.
Glad Tina showed her compassionate side we all know and love. Bette should still seek professional counseling and whatever tests that need to be run to prove she didn’t inherit the trait. I think you should continue this story and, if you have the time, post the NC-17s as well. PPS
You give us our ever-loving Tina. She is probably the ONLY person who would NEVER betray Bette. Please continue with this story and I LOVE NC-17’s. You are welcomed to give us both. PPS
She’s more of a Jennifer than you know Tina lol