As Bette leaves my car I feel my heart getting very heavy like I just lost something valuable that I cannot live without. I drive home feeling like my world is ending. I AM doing the right thing that is what I must remind myself. I get out of my car after parking it in my driveway I enter the house. Seems like noone is home I go to my room and fall down on the bed and begin crying. Why am I so sad If I made the right decision?

I wake up Lying in my bed with my head on my tear soaked pillow. I guess I had fallen asleep there for a bit. My eyes have now run dry and I feel numb not knowing what I should do next. I know that I told Bette that I only wish to be friends with her. Now…… actually doing that……. well that can be a different story. Will I be strong enough to resist the temptation that She makes me feel? I have to be I can do it I can remain friends with her. The alternative would be to not see her at all ever again. Now that I never can do I need her in my life even if it is ONLY friendship.

I get up and decide to make some dinner anything to get my mind occupied with something. I decide to make some Lasagna I know Charlie will be home with the boys and the 3 men will be hungry. As I am working on making the Lasagna the phone rings.

Tina: Hello?

Charlie: Hi dear I just picked up the boys and we are on our way home should take maybe an hour and a half or so. What are we doing for dinner?

Tina: I am making lasagna working on it right now.

Charlie: Wow! sounds good I am getting hungry already. I wanna get home quickly to taste the wonderful meal.

Tina: Don’t rush, drive carefully I want my boys home in one piece.

Charlie: Okay dear I will. See you when we get home.

Tina: Yes see you later bye.

I continue working on dinner trying to forget about Bette and my feelings for my friend. Concetrating on my chore I finally get the lasagna into the oven, then decides to sit on the couch and watch television untill my family gets home. As I  am staring at the tv trying to pay attention to the show I hear the front door opening so I getup and walk towards the door. I give both my boys a huge hug letting them know how much their Mom has missed them.

Tina: How did you two enjoy the weekend with your uncle?

Alex: It was great we got to ride a horse on his farm and had a camfire roasted marshmallows.

Tyler: Yes it was totally awesome! I got to ride a dirt bike i wanna go back.

Tina: Gee! guess you two boys didn’t even miss your Mom?

Alex: Yes we DID miss you Mom.

Tyler: Mom I missed you we just had lots of fun.

Tina: Good I am glad you boys had fun you can watch tv if you like till diner is ready.

Charlie walk up to me and gives me a hug so I hug him back. I think of how different it feels from when I am hugging Bette. OH my there goes my mind straying again. As I feel my husbands lips press aganst mine I pull away because it doesn;t feels like Bettes.

Charlie: What is the matter?

Tina: Nothing I just need to check on ther lasagna don’t want it to burn. (well it isn’t a lie? not totally.)

Charlie: Well okay call me when it’s ready.

I go to the kitchen and decide to make a salad to go with diner. After everything is all ready I call them all into the kitchen so we can eat. Diner went well we all enjoyed a family diner then to my surprise Alex and Tyler offered to do the dishes.

Tina: Thank-you boys I am tired think I shall go to bed I gotta work tomorrow.

Alex give me a hug as does Tyler and they both start on the dishes as I head to my room. I change into my nightgown and slip in between the sheets just as Charlie walks in. I hear him lock the door so I pretend to be asleep. I will not tell you WHO is on my mind but I bet you can guess??

TBC