Bette gives me a hug and whispers in my ear don’t worry I am not mad at you we will still be friends. I just cannot be alone like this with you beacause the temptation is too strong we will see each other at work. Maybe we can even go out for coffee every once in a while. She places a soft kiss on my cheeck as she whispers goodbye.

Bette: Go now please before I can no longer control myself and we do something you may regret.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

I arrive home feeling like my world is coming to an end. I walk around the house aimlessly as I hear my sons and husband in the living room watching tv. I head towards my bedroom and get stopped by my husband.

Charlie: Tina! Home already? That has gottta be the fastest shopping trip ever?

Tina: We didn’t end up going shopping.

Charlie: Why did you girls have some kind of a fight?

Tina: No we didn’t have a fight or disagreement or anything like that. I just suddenly was feeling sick.

Charlie: Oh really? Well I am sorry to hear you aren’t well. Maybe if you lay down you will feel better.

Tina: Yes I think I will go do that goodnight.

Charlie: Night hope you feel better in the morning.

I continue to my room and get ready for bed thinking that I want to call Bette more than ever yet knowing that right now I can’t. This has gotta be the hardest thing I have ever done, never in my life do I remember feeling so lost and so lonely. I crawl into bed as tears roll down my cheeck knowing that the only person that can help me feel better is someone I must stay away from.

______________________________________________________________________________

The week goes by with pretty much the same thing happening each day. I go to work and try to concentrate on my job avoiding looking at Bette. Even though I keep my eyes diverted from her direction I can still see her. She is in my mind I have a picture of her undeniable beauty etched in my brain. She is in my head no matter what I do I cannot get her out. I can remember how good it felt to have her arms around me. I can picture her sexy smile. I can still imagine kissing her and all the pleasure it brought me. This is just torture how can I continue on this way. Bette and I haven’t talked since that dreadful day a week ago that we decided to end things. I just can’t bring myself to say anything to her I am afraid the wrong words will come out of my mouth. I can honestly say that it was the worst day of my entire life. I am wondering now DID I really make the right decision? If I did why does it feel so wrong?

______________________________________________________________________________

At home things I don’t seem any happier my boys noticed that I am mopping around the house like I am in some kind of depression. I try to enjoy my time with my family but there is something missing, I just am unable to find enjoyment in anything anymore. I feel like a piece of me is missing. My Husband has tried to cheer me up but had no success.

Charlie: Come on Tina talk to me tell me what is bothering you.

Tina: I don’t know. ( I lied)

Charlie walked up to me and gave me a hug. I returned his hug thinking that this felt more like a friend hug I did not feel the connection there NOT like when Bettte hugs me. Charlie pressed his lips against mine and for the first time this week I allowed it and let it happen I needed to know.

Was there anything left in this marriage or am I just going to spend the rest of my life feeling like I lost something that is irreplaceable? As the kiss continued I couldn’t help thinking of her and how much I wished it was her kissing me right now instead of my husband. When I felt Charlie slide his hand under my shirt I had to pull away.

Tina: No Charlie I can’ t do this……..

TBC