–

“What are you doing?”

“Does Angelica need something?”

“She’s asleep.”

She frowned.  “Did I forget something?”

“No, I just came out to see what you were doing.”

“Nothing really.” 

She was sitting by the pool. Staying away from the person she was having a difficult time recognizing.  Check that, the person who seemed incapable of being anything but being angry and critical these days.

Tina was standing off to the side.  Slightly behind the brunette so unless the other woman turned fully the expression on the producer’s face remained hidden.

A neighbor turned on a stereo.  Loud enough to be heard yet the volume wasn’t at a level that would necessarily annoy.  Still the out of work woman decided the danger of waking the baby was sufficient.

Bette stood, “I’ll go close the bedroom window.”

“I think she’ll be fine.”

“Better safe than sorry,” came a pragmatic reply.

Speaking about being sorry the blonde thought then stopped her companion.

“I’m sorry about earlier.”  Tina sighed. 

As they stood facing each other she acknowledged they didn’t seem to be doing much these days but fight.  Was it that long ago when her only desire was to see and bond with her girlfriend?  Anxiously watching each minute that passed so they could meet for lunch or spend the evening in her company?  When even living together didn’t seem enough?

Now, they didn’t seem to agree on anything except for loving the baby who slept inside. 

The wave of a right hand dismissed the apology. “It’s over.”  No heat was left to initiate additional verbal sparring that day.  

“Well I’m sorry that I gave you hard time.  I shouldn’t have been so…”

Bette was slow to answer.  “Okay.”

The music was turned up and the curly haired woman who was stood barefoot glanced in its direction. A second thereafter singing and an amateur attempt to personally accompany the music with a guitar drifted across the yard.  The sounds apparently loud enough to disturb a now whimpering Angelica.

Bette looked in the direction of their daughter and moved closer. 

She was thankful of Tina’s gesture.  Of the genuine apology that was unexpected yet well received. 

Spurred by a contagious honesty, the mother though not by blood who intended to go pacify their daughter decided to reveal she too knew exactly what was happening between them.  That she couldn’t wrestle for their family – in particular their relationship – on her own.

“Tina?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”  For seeking her out.  For the words offered and spoken.

Tonight’s Tina seemed more patient and forgiving in her eyes.  She listened to her counterpart and knew there was something more to be said. 

“What is it Bette?”

“I wish that I knew what…,” she stopped not really knowing how to finish.

Tina said she was sorry.  For the earlier outburst about finances and her jobless state.  So was Bette although about something fundamentally more important.  Something that extended beyond just their monetary obligations. 

Before going into the house Bette shared exactly what she was thinking.

“I’m sorry you’re so unhappy.” 

With her. 

With what their life together was now.

With everything but Angelica.

—