Chapter 3

Storming down the hall of the CAC, Bette was fuming. Even with her anger rolling off her in waves, Bette presented a stunning vision of beauty and grace. She was wearing a pencil skirt and jacket today that accented her height. The color was a soft pastel blue complimented her skin coloring. The overall effect was to make Bette seem softer, a deception that belied the true force of her nature.

James didn’t need to be told that Bette was teed off he could tell by the sound of her clicking heals as they danced down the hall. It was a unique sound, different than the noise she made when she was happy. A happy Bette would glide, almost floating down the hall. The staccato beat being pounded out as Bette approaches told James all he needed to know. James knew Franklin had called demanding James get Bette in his office immediately. That call had come over an hour ago.

Rounding the corner to her office she shouts over her shoulder. “James clear my schedule for the rest of the day. Franklin has done it to me again. We’re going to have to revamp the entire budget for our show before tomorrow’s board meeting.” With that Bette entered her office, slamming the door giving it the same intensity she would use to power her for the rest of the day.

James looked at the clock. It was 2 PM, he didn’t have to look at Bette’s schedule to know she has three appointments scheduled for this afternoon. One was a face to face with a potential donor, someone Bette has been courting for monthes. The other two phone appointments. He quickly grabs his phone to call the donor. If he was lucky he could catch them before they began their trip to the CAC. Already James was in crisis mode. As usual it never was as simple as one phone call, fixing this bump in Bette’s schedule would take multiple phone calls and re-calls. It was going to be a busy afternoon.

As soon as Bette reaches her desk she throws down the papers in her hands, “FUCK”. For her part Bette couldn’t believe the stunt that Franklin had just pulled. “Such a little man.” Bette says under her breath. If he believes he has trumped Bette and her show by taking away a portion of her budget then he has another thing coming.

Bette was still fuming six hours later. She’s taken her budget and cut every corner she could find. It had been a daunting task going through all the lighting, shipping orders, carpenters projections and catering cost. It had been a line by line item examination, carving off a little here and there. Once she had her bare minimum, rock bottom number Bette went to the next step her vendors. She called each and everyone of her vendors and twisted their arms to reduce their projections. Bette had no pride in this process. She had even threatened them with canceling the show if they didn’t anti up a cost reduction suitable to her needs.

It wasn’t the best way to foster good vendor relations but Bette knew this was a power play between Franklin and herself. She would be damn if she was going to let Franklin win. Bette knew she was right about her choices for this show. If things come through as she knew it should, there would be plenty of attention and attendance. Good attendance and positive word of mouth was all Bette needed to get the board to take control over Franklin. Franklin’s little stunts to under mind her would come to an end. This was do or die and she wasn’t about to be the one to die.

The final step was to begin calling sponsors of her show. These were the donors who saw the art world through the same lens she did. She needed to find just a few more dollars and her show could come off as planned. It was with this in mind that she began dialing for dollars as she fondly called it. But first she needed a momentary break.

Getting up from her desk she had to get the donor files from James to make these calls personally. Opening her door she was surprised to see is dark except over by James’ desk where he had a desk spot on. Looking around it dawned on her that the best part of the day was gone.

“James I need the files for Alexander, Prineston, Jacobs, Anderson and Handley but if you just hand me the whole donor stack I’ll get them myself.” She says as she walks up to his desk.

“No that’s OK Bette, I’ll pull them for you.” James says quickly grabbing the specific files Bette has requested. He could guess which ones they were. These were the donors Bette always put at the top of her VIP list, the ones she enjoyed talking to. “Here you go. I’ve had them on top.”

“Thanks James … and why don’t you go home. It’s been a long day I think I’ve can handle it from here.” Bette offered now feeling a little guilty for keeping him so late.

“Thanks Boss but only if you’re sure, we still have to re-edit the report for the board. I could stay to finish that up.” James offers.

“Thanks James for the offer. We are really close to pulling this off. Let me make these few phone calls and get the extra funds we need to make this real and maybe I’ll leave the final budget on your desk. Do you think you can come in early and type it up?” Bette asks sweetly.

“Sure thing Bette you can count on me.” James smiles while he grabs his coat. “Oh yeah before I leave.” James hesitates, “Tina called a little while ago. I told her you were buried.”

Bette was about to close her office door, James last comment made her stop and look at James. “Oh … OK thanks James. I’ll leave the new budget on your desk. Have it re-typed and print enough copies for all the board members. Have a good night.”

With that Bette closes her office door and resumes looking through the folders for the phone numbers and specifics on what each donor has already committed. The sooner she got this done the sooner she could get home. She would talk to Tina when it was all said and done.


****

Tina had just finished wrapping Bette’s dinner up and putting it in the refrigerator. She had long ago done all the dishes but it was close to midnight and she wasn’t waiting up for Bette any longer. Any hope of Bette coming home and having a meaningful evening was lost with this final activity of the night.

She has spent the entire evening pacing around the house second guessing herself about her visit to Dan Foxworthy. In her heart of hearts she knows she moved forward with the visit in an attempt to get help. Help for her to hang onto what she loved about her life. But this knowledge didn’t change the tone of the running dialog in her mind. The self criticism was beginning to get on her nerves. She desperately wanted to talk with Bette for real about this and get this ever growing monkey off her back.

In her conversation with herself, Tina has gone through the whole gambit of reasoning from why the visit with Foxworthy was necessary to all the negative implications needing counseling would bring upon the two of them as a couple. Not just the two of them but on Bette herself. Tina at first toyed with herself and her emotions, telling herself the reason she hasn’t told Bette was more about the negative stigma associated with needing counseling or that Bette would freak at going to such a public figure as Dan Foxworthy counselor to the stars. She knew that neither of these reasons were true.

Earlier this evening when Tina called James she discovered that once again Bette was too busy with work to come home for dinner. Not just too busy to come home but also too busy to pick up the phone and let Tina know she wouldn’t be home. She probably wasn’t even a thought in Bette’s mind at the present moment.

It threw open a door that Tina didn’t really want to open but one she knew she had to face. What had she done wrong to warrant such behavior from Bette? It hadn’t always been this way. When the two of them started out they talked all the time, day or night. They had been so close to each other not only physically but spiritually. Tina had learned from James during the call that Franklin had sabotaged Bette’s Spring Show and that she was battling to right this wrong.

It all made sense that Bette would fight this battle and fight with every fiber of her being. Tina expected this from Bette and understood that this was a battle that Bette needed to fight. But not so long ago she would have been Bette’s first call after that meeting with Franklin. It seems like a 1,000 years ago when Bette last included her in on what was happening at the office. Bette would have called bitching and moaning about the jerk that Franklin was and what she needed to do to correct this wrong. Tina would have been there to listen and offer Bette the council of her opinion or just the sympathies from someone who cared. But that wasn’t the case any longer. Bette didn’t need or want her opinion or anything else from her it seems.

This is what scared Tina the most. Bette’s ability to erase Tina from portions of her life. If Bette could so easily remove Tina from one portion of her life what stopped her from erasing Tina all together?

This subject came up in her discussions with Foxworthy today. Dan had asked Tina what she feared the most … what made her scared? Tina knew immediately the answer but she didn’t know how to express it. How do you tell someone you are a failure? A total and complete failure, that you are let down the one person who means the most in the world to you. Instead of answering directly Tina began talking in circles to Dan.

“I don’t seem to be able to find a comfortable place with Bette anymore. I thought she knew me more than anyone or at least I feel I know her … but I don’t know how we got lost from that place. I have memories of times and places, things we would whisper to each other all the while in forbidden places which only reinforced the importance of her to me and me to her.”

“Are you trying to tell me that you feel out of synch with Bette?”

“Synch yes I don’t even think we live on the same planet these days. I just feel like I’m trying to hold onto what’s familiar about the two of us and any threads of fabric that we have built together are ripping away. The frames still there, the pretty house and garden I’ve cared for are still there but the substance of who we are together is gone.”

This was when Dan again brought up how issues of communication can’t be solved alone. How if Tina wanted and hoped for any successful outcome of these sessions Bette would have to be present. Yes Bette needed to participate too. That was the issue, Bette’s participation. How do you ask someone to become more involved when you feel them pulling away from you?

All of the reasons and excuses boiled down to one thing. Tina was afraid that Bette would simply say no.

In her heart of hearts she knew Alice was right, Bette was going to be furious. Furious that Tina has already paid a visit to the therapist, furious that she had discussed private matters that are between the two of them and finally furious that Tina had talked to someone else about it before she could talk to Bette herself. All night long Tina had moved from room to room in their house talking to herself about this issue. The hole she felt she has fallen into was deep and wide.

Now getting into bed alone Tina could no longer play the game in her own mind. She now had to face the fear she’s been avoiding for a long time. Does Bette even love me anymore?