–

“Do you have everything?”

“I think so.”

In an instant her eyes watered.  A few blinks held the redness and moist evidence at bay. Although there had been more than enough already if any more tears were to be shed it would be when she was alone.

“I’ll be sure to set anything of yours aside.”

Even if appropriate the silence between them was onerous. Right then, there was a sadness in Tina’s expression that comforted Bette. 

“Thanks…I have all of it I think.”

Both took in their surroundings. 

Empty drawers and shelves confirmed one woman’s abandon.  The collection over a period of eight years amounted to a considerable number of boxes.  Filled with physical reminders of the time that elapsed.  Milestones shared and more.  Memories that included the other’s presence.  What each said and how their choices were crafted mostly because of the other.

But no more.  All that remained was just…history.  Tremendously happy when it began with surges of pain at the end.

“Are you moving in with him?”

“What?” she answered mechanically.  After a moment Tina clarified, “I mean no…no…”

“Not immediately?” the other woman prompted, her tone benign.

“I don’t know.”

How did Tina get so comfortable hiding from her?  Bette looked at the hazel eyes that kept her secrets for so long.  Again she lamented the loss of visibility into the blonde’s heart and thoughts. 

Eventually the longer haired counterpart answered, “I see.” 

Although she really – as in really – did not. 

The once proud gallery owner bowed her head and slowly walked around the room.  Her hands settled deeply in the pockets of a well worn pair of jeans.  She contemplated how things were though lacked the energy to try and comprehend.

Bette didn’t know why and how this happened.  How she lost the love of her life so quickly.  Was it supposed to be that fluid?  So easy to sever an intensely dense bond that at one time seemed impenetrable? 

Moreover when exactly did she give up the hope that Tina would ask to take her back?  Take them back?  When did it dawn on her that she had to learn to live apart from the one she gave her life to?  The one she adored so immensely though not without mistakes. When and how did she convince her heart and soul to let go?

She acknowledged understanding would never be fully realized but that was life.  This was the hand dealt.  Right now all that made sense was that there was so much hurt it literally burned in her chest.    

Bette glanced around the half vacant room and said farewell to what was.  It would surely upset every now and then because sometimes remembering was such a curse – of what was and wasn’t.  Of the ‘almost’ and ‘never’.

But she also knew this wouldn’t last forever.  Someday, her life and the one she would share it with would be more than this moment of when her heart broke in two. 

Gradually things would be how she imagined. 

Holding someone’s hand.  Caring for this person in every way she knew how.  Learning ways to do it better.  Loving her with all that was inside.  Receiving affection in return.  Smiling at a child that bore resemblance to herself and a partner with whom she shared each day.  Individuals who would teach Bette to be more and want to change because of an overwhelming love that meant absolutely everything. 

Yes there was something beyond this present. 

Bette knew the life she dreamed of would be.  In spite of today and even because of it. She believed it with a force beyond the confines of today’s ache.

So Bette straightened and stood tall.  

Looking across the room her eyes met those of her former partner’s and in many ways the convergence completed this parting.  An intense moment passed between yesterday’s couple.

One that confirmed separate futures.

“Goodbye Tina,” Bette said softly. The sadness in Tina’s eyes was evident as she said the same in parting. 

Bette looked at her intently, then she turned and walked away.

–