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When She Loved Me (9)
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUWRRT7DRBw&feature=related
Chapter 9
She stared at the apple for what seemed like hours, hunched over in her chair at the table. The little fruit was sitting on the other side – where Tina always sat – and Bette just stared. Maybe it was because she had been drinking, but she felt like everything had turned on her. Sure she had been sober for years, but she wasn’t strong enough to hold off any longer. She didn’t care anymore.
When would she see Tina again? Would she ever see Tina again?
Too upset to think about those questions any great deal, she brought her glass up and the intoxicating hard liquor poured into her. It almost seemed to numb the pain – a characteristic she had relished as her addiction took over. An addiction that had plagued her so long ago that it seemed like another life. It was something she had never shared with Tina, perhaps hoping that what was ignored would become non-existent. She didn’t feel the need to bring it up, but now – all by herself – it became her new reality. All over again. And purchased with some money she had saved for a rainy day. Well, she figured with a sigh of laughter when all else seemed impossible, I guess that fits.
She was disappointed in herself, but also careless about her own personal safety. The guilt of Tina’s situation and weakness was torture. If Tina died, she was sure she would too.
Looking up again, even the apple was blurry, and Bette was grateful for that. Why had she put it over there? Was she expecting Tina to come waltzing in, asking for it? Giggling even? ‘No,’ she thought sadly, ‘that won’t happen, you old fool’. Still, she watched it sitting there like it belonged at Tina’s seat. As if that would do her any good.
The image proved so debilitating that Bette left the room, falling onto her bed and just laying there. The sheets, although washed, still smelled of Tina. She closed her eyes and inhaled. Tina.
*****
Once she could open her eyes, she did, noticing at first her mother and father arguing amongst themselves. It took her a minute or so to realize where she was, and she shifted around in the small hospital bed.
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Thank you for sharing with us such beautiful yet heart breaking story, GR.. Please let them meet each other soon and no more misunderstanding..
You know what they say, timing is everything. So much love and yet so much heartache and confusion. Come on girls get yourselves together.
Wow! What an amazingly heartbreaking chapter. I can’t wait to see how this develops. Superb writing, thanks for posting.
I knonw Tina’s parents only want to protect their daughter from the harsh reality of being gay, but they really suck! Yes, I’m crying. Two posts, two weepy comments and still, only one love. Thank you GR.
Damn this is so sad and heartbreaking, please let them see each other again and talk and work thing out, can’t stand to see them like this, they need each other. Please post more, thanks!
Still crying. How sad? Can’t wait for number 10 to smooth the story and give us some hope. PPVS.
A consistent melancholic vibe comes off your stories. There’s Bette and Tina in different settings, but in all these Bette is kind of the noble savage trapped in some dark corner by old wounds and deep betrayals, and Tina is her spontaneous cheery smart and strong liberator, just like it is in a way in the show. I always pass up stories dealing with the darker energies, but I take exception with yours, because in yours, love and joy trump cynicism and despair in the end. And you do it so convincingly, that however Bette and Tina seem like a lost cause here, I know you will take their love to a satisfying triumph. Thank you GR, you are the best thing to happen to fanfic in a long dark while.
Sorry about that! I think I’ve developed some kind of twitch from all the trauma and I couldn’t control my “clicking” action!
Just when you think things can’t get any worse, the already broken pieces of your heart are hammered into dust…. and I’m describing your readers as well as Bette. Thank you GR – though why I’m thanking you for making us all sob, I don’t know. Oh yes, cos you’re so damn good, and cos you gave us that glimmer of hope, a less depressing chapter 10! And I completely agree with rubber duckie’s brilliant comment.
Just when you think things can’t get any worse, the already broken pieces of your heart are hammered into dust…. and I’m describing your readers as well as Bette. Thank you GR – though why I’m thanking you for making us all sob, I don’t know. Oh yes, cos you’re so damn good, and cos you gave us that glimmer of hope, a less depressing chapter 10! And I completely agree with rubber duckie’s brilliant comment.
This chapter is awesome in its echoing of the misunderstandings in real life and the sadness they bring onto someone. Often, intelligence, love honesty and stubbornness in seeking happiness overcome the prejudices in this world and many times fear, self-doubt, bad life experiences, unhealed wounds, belittling and un-accepting parents prevail and keep people apart. I’m looking for how you’ll play it and over what span of time, seeing your settings are around the fifties. Read you soon.
Ugh….this is so sad and so frustrating. I can’t wait for Chapter 10. This situation is making me feel sick. :(
Tina’s parents make me so mad! This was sad. I look forward to ch. 10.
Sorry G,.. small mistake in the song title. Actually it is “Someday you will be loved” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18gDQU2gNkg.
Sorry to bother you again, but felt the need to share. So, I was feeling a little better and driving along in the autumn sunshine when onto the radio came Dusty Springfield singing All I See Is You. And suddenly I was slammed back into your story and Bette’s despair. Thankfully I managed to hold it together sufficiently so as not to be a danger to myself or others, and I’ve got back home safely! You can find the song on YouTube if you’re feeling strong enough.
I feel like the world is a s*itty place to live, full of evil judgamental people…tnx to you!! It’s sooo sad to read how fate is playing with tibette:(( By the way, this is my fav, saddest, objective chap so far. and can’t wait for the famous 10th to light the mood!:)) Tnx for posting, love this story!
God this is heartbreaking. Come on, you´re the author, fix this.
So sad. Tina’s dad is going to hell for what he has done. And Tina’s mom is an idiot. She should have told Tina that Bette had been there but that her father would not allow Bette to see her. Tina should ask the nurse if Bette had been there when her parents were not there. This is so frustrating for them not to know. Happy number 10 will be on a lighter note. Thanks for posting.
I am not liking the parental units