Fan Fiction
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Bette was reading in her armchair while Tina and Angie were watching an animated Christmas special on tv. Bette didn’t know how they could stand sitting through the commercials. Everyday commercials were bad enough, but around the holidays they were even worse. She turned a page of her novel. Bette definitely didn’t have the patience that they did. Try as she might to lose herself in the plot of her book, the commercials kept intruding on her thoughts.
“Wrap her up in your love this holiday – with diamonds,” a smug male voiceover for a jeweler’s commercial intoned.
Bette glanced up at Tina, who was watching the commercial avidly. Bette looked at the television. There was a man hugging a woman while the snow swirled around them. The camera focused on the necklace she was wearing. Bette didn’t like the design at all, and the diamonds at the center of it looked gaudy and fake, like costume jewelry. She looked quickly back at Tina, who seemed to like it.
“Blood diamonds,” Bette muttered.
“What are blood diamonds?” Angie asked, looking at Bette quizzically.
“They’re…” Bette paused, trying to think of an explanation a five-year-old would understand.
“Are they scary?” Angie asked with wide eyes.
“In a sense…” Bette said. “You see, most diamonds come from Africa, and –”
“They’re not scary,” Tina interrupted. “Did you see the pretty necklace the woman was wearing, Angie?”
“Pretty?” Bette snorted in disbelief and Tina shot her a warning glance.
“I saw it, Mommy,” Angie said.
“Did you see the sparkly stones on it?”
Angie nodded eagerly.
“Those are diamonds.”
“Oooh.” Angie seemed to understand this. She furrowed her brow and looked at Bette. “But what’s a blood diamond? Those stones didn’t have blood on them.”
“Don’t you mind that, baby,” Tina soothed. “It’s just one of your Mama B’s political lectures. Look, your cartoon is back on.”
The animated picture flickered on the screen to the sound of a well-known holiday carol. Foiled, Bette went back to her book, slightly annoyed that she hadn’t been able to explain to Angie why diamonds were more than just sparkly stones.
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“Priceless” :) Great story!
What a great little story… I hope u have a few other one ofs…
Mwah-hah-hah!!! Funny, clever! “Hetro-normative…oh Cranky-Curmudgeon-Holiday Bette is at it again. Love it!!!!! Glad you’re back…missed ya!
Omalley…nothing says Holidays like your Christmas stories! I so adore them. They make me smile – tis a reason for this season. Hugs!!
Omalley…nothing says Holidays like your Christmas stories! I so adore them. They make me smile – tis a reason for this season. Hugs!!
AS pekegal named her “Oh Cranky-Curmudgeon Holiday Bette” was left speechless by adorable Angie wanting diamonds. I just knew that’s what she was going to say and Tina laughing was the cap for it all. I thought Bette might scream. Hilarious. Thanks for posting.
So funny!Glad you are back.Looking forward to your next story.
Great story thank you more please.
Too cute
Extremely funny and cute!
Absolutely wonderful and adorable. Thank you for this story.
ROTFL. You are definitely the Queen of holiday stories in these parts. So glad you’re back. And gladder still about your news: “I’ve been writing quite a lot lately (not necessarily holiday fics), so I’ve got a backlog to post.” Yay! Santa Omalley are you talking about AEHAS? Can I just say, in my own pantheon of tibette heroes you are up there with three others. You’re the only one consistently taking Tina and Bette further down the tibette road in your stories. Angie is 5 here therefore it’s post-S6. I can see how you’re writing your stories in a way that advances the tibette-an cause. LOL. No kidding though. “Foundations” salvages for tibette what S5 ruined for them. Thank you omalley. You’re our hero!
Awww this was cute. Thanks so much for posting it, I tend to agree that the commercials are way over the top! At times I want to just yell “don’t buy her too big a diamond because it might make a hole in your head when you do something stupid and she punches you” but I refrain most days. LOL!
Tina wants snow, Angie wants diamonds and Bette gets frustrated.
Yes , agree with the first commenter, the story was priceless and precious. It was also very funny, with Angie repeating what Bette would say, and Tina just laughing out loud.
Hahahha that was so funny and cute, love it, thanks!
I absolutely loved this story. :) Thanks for the laugh. :)
HI Omalley, Just wonderful and Christmassy. I love that Bette was all “Baa Humbug” while Tina and Angie were enjoying the movie and ads. Great to have Angie getting one over her alpha mom. More please as I would love to read about their winter vacation. Many thanks from Your Loyal Fan.
I missed your Christmas stories! I really enjoyed them in the last year too. Thank you for you sharing them with us! Merry Christmas Omalley! Ho-ho-ho!! :o)
Simply adorable