Previously-

So here I am in my bed and there she is, one floor down on the couch. What now? What do I do now?

What now?  What am I going to do?  Hide up here in my bedroom, until the inevidable happens.  She’s going to wake up eventually.  When she does she’s going to need some aspirin for what I’m sure will be one hell of a headache.  Also, a shower and a change of clothes.  Luckily, I was able to get her to bathroom before most of it came up. That was a challenge. The whole night was a challenge, physically and emotionally.

I left her lying on my couch while I went to get a blanket for her. When I came back she was sitting up with her elbows on her knees. I couldn’t see her face because one hand was on her forehead and the other was covering her mouth. It looked like she was trying not to cry, her body slowly rocking back and forth.

My heart was breaking seeing her in this condition. I knelt down in front of her, setting the blanket on the couch. I wanted to ease her pain. I softly said her name and took her hands away from her face. It was then that I realized it wasn’t tears she was trying to stop but something else. I asked her if she was going to get sick. She didn’t answer, just swallowed forcefully and closed her eyes.

I quickly put her arm over my shoulder and helped her up. I half carried and half dragged her toward the bathroom, which I’m sure wasn’t helping her to keep it down. That’s not what I was thinking about. I was just praying I’d get her there in time.

I sat with her on the bathroom floor until she was done. With her head still hanging over the toilet she began to apologize. Repeating over and over again, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. This is when the tears started coming.

Helena: (whispering and rubbing her back) “It’s alright Dylan. Shhhhh, it’s alright. Come on, let me help you to the couch so you can sleep. You need to sleep this off.”

Dylan: “Sniffle. It’s not alright.”

Helena: “For tonight it is. Come on, we both need to get some sleep.”

She nodded her head and let me help her back to the couch. Making sure she was on her stomach, just in case anything else might come up, I went to the kitchen and found the largest pot I had. I set it down next to the couch below her head. As I took her hand and rested it on the handle of the pot I told her it was there, hoping she would use it if she felt sick again. As I stood up, she grabbed my hand hard enough to pull me back down. She mumbled something, it sounded like don’t leave.

“I’m not leaving Dylan. I’m right here. You’re in my house, on my couch. I’m just going upstairs. Go to sleep, okay.”

Dylan: “Don’t leave me.”

Helena: “I’m not leaving, Dylan, I promise.”

Once she let go of my hand I was able to stand up again. I spent some time looking at her there, lying on my couch. She looked so innocent, almost childlike. I brought my fingers to my mouth and kissed them, then gently touched her cheek.

Helena: “I love you, Dylan.”

As I was heading to the stairs I heard her mumble something. I turned to see if she was okay and she mumbled something again. I thought she must be dreaming. I stopped not wanting to wake her up.

Dylan: “momma promised………..she said she loved me……………..and she never came back”

I wasn’t sure what to make of the words she spoke in her semiconscious state. I was so tired, emotionally and physically drained. I wanted and needed to go to bed. So, that’s what I did. I went to bed and left Dylan sleeping on my couch.

I should get up. She’s going to wake up eventually. I’ll get some aspirin, clean towels and a change of clothes ready for her.