Author’s Note:

My soul is like a wild river. The rocks appear out of nowhere. No one can avoid them. The rapids are unpredictable and volatile, taking down anyone who dares to ride them. Tim was the first to get on a raft. I destroyed him. I drowned in a sea of pain and misery, and I know that even though he’s happily married and with child, part of him still feels for me, just like part of me still feels for him.

Marina was the next who was stupid enough to get on a raft. She paddled right alongside Tim, racing for my heart. Marina got there, and when she did, she stabbed in with a knife and left me bleeding out. There was a hurricane. It took her. It destroyed her. Even worse than it destroyed Tim.

Through all this, with a dangerous soul and a bleeding heart, you guys decided to be my friends. You took the risk for me, and even when the river was drowning you and eating you alive, you stuck around. I wrote Lez Girls to hurt you, because I was jealous. Because you were able to swim to shore of my wild river and get back on the raft.

Every single one of you did. Bette, you were so hurt with my writing of Lez Girls, but to stay close to Tina, you stayed on your raft. And Tina, all those horrible things I did to you and your production-heck I stole the negatives-but you stood by me. You were supporting me when Adele took my movie from right under me and you defended me when I was accused of stealing the negatives, even though it wasn’t worth losing your job. You stayed on your raft.

Alice, I really was fucked up to you. I stole your idea, of course I added you to the co-writer list, but that wasn’t my original plan. I actually stole your idea, but you still saved my ass at that club when I almost got caught by that stupid ass reporter and her girlfriend. You made out with me to protect me, and that’s something only a true friend does. You stayed on your raft.

Shane, you were the one who withstood the most. I was nothing but a drag in your life. You were willing to sacrifice your own happiness for me. Your were drowning in that river, but you kept on swimming. You kept getting on the raft even though you were falling over and over again.