Minutes went by in silence as I was waiting for Bette to respond. I kept my head down afraid of what I would find if I looked into her eyes. Anger? Disgust?

I felt Bette shaking and I looked up at her, she was crying. I put my hand on her cheek moving her tears away with my fingers, but new tears kept on falling. She took my hand and brought it to her mouth kissing it softly.

“You are so beautiful Tina”, she whispered still holding my hand in hers. I looked back down. I brought my arms around her burying my head in the crook of her neck holding her close. We sat like that, in the middle of the bed holding on to each other tight for what seemed like hours. Suddenly Bette moved back putting her hands on either side of my face looking at me intently.

“When did this start?” she asked.

“When I was seventeen… “

“Tina that’s nine years ago!!!” she exclaimed shocked. “you’ve been doing this for nine years?”

“I just…it’s not easy to stop Bette” I looked to the side “I can’t help it, it’s a part of who I am now”

“No Tina it’s not a part of who you are, it’s a disease!” Bette sighed. “Why didn’t you tell me about this Tee? We’ve been together for over a year!”

“I was afraid you would…” I trailed off not knowing how to finish the sentence.

“That I would what Tee?” she asked me softly putting her hand under my chin moving my head so that I was looking at her. Her eyes were so full of love I couldn’t help but burst into tears. She took me ones again into her arms as I was sobbing and shaking. I was clinging on to her like my life was depending on it and in a way it felt like it did. I couldn’t live without Bette that much I knew.

“Please don’t leave me!” I sobbed. She held me closer as she whispered softly into my ear “Honey, I’m not ever leaving you” She put her hands on my shoulders and moved me back so that we were facing each other. “You couldn’t get rid of me even if you tried” she smiled. I gave her a small smile and she moved closer putting her lips on mine in the softest of kisses. We sat there with our foreheads resting together until Bette moved back caressing my cheek with her slender fingers. “Let’s get some sleep baby, we’ll talk more about this tomorrow”

We lied down on the bed facing each other. Bette pulled me closer to her, our legs entangled and our two bodies melting into one. I rested my head on her chest and sighed, feeling like the world had lifted off my shoulders along with my confession. Maybe everything would be ok now.

 TBC