“Alice, we can just go to the store tomorrow,” Dana whispered as Alice opened the back door of Bette and Tina’s house and snuck into their room.

“No Dana,” Alice said, “they’re closed, and I know for a fact that Tina bought a brand new one they haven’t used it.”

“We can’t just steal their strap on Alice,” Dana chastised.

“And tomorrow I’ll buy them a new one, but now, I really really need to get fucked.”

“Alice, if Bette saw us in here she would fucking kill us.”

“If Bette knew why we were here, she would fucking throw us off a cliff,” Alice laughed.

“Just hurry up and get it,” Dana said.

“Fine, it should be in the closet,” Alice said.

“How do you know?”

“That’s where I used to put mine, before you left it at the hotel,” Alice said.

“I said I was sorry about that, I thought I had everything,” Dana pouted.

“I can imagine the surprise those cleaning ladies had in the morning,” Alice laughed.

“That’s not funny,” Dana said slapping Alice’s back as Alice searched the vented closet.

Both women froze when they heard the door opening and the angry yells of Bette, “what the fuck do you mean control freak?”

“Oh shit,” Alice squeaked, “they’re home!”

“And they’re fighting!” Dana whimpered.

“Hurry! Get in the fucking closet!” Alice cried pulling Dana in and closing the door behind her. They hid behind Bette’s power suits and looked through the vents of the closet as Bette and Tina walked in.

“Sorry, babe, but you are,” Tina said in her calm tone. They both knew how pissed that normally made Bette, but they never heard Tina used another tone no matter how angry she got.

“I am not!” Bette snapped.

“Oh yeah? Then give me the control,” Tina challenged.

“What the fuck do you mean?”

Tina raised her tone now, she had always hated when Bette cussed at her, “let me decide the vacation.”

“But we always go to New York.”

“I want to go somewhere tropical,” Tina argued.

“But Tina…”

“See control freak!” Tina shouted.

Dana and Alice almost jumped out of their skin. They had never heard Tina yell like that. She was trembling in fury.

“Fine! We’ll go to the Bahamas, Cancun, Hawaii, wherever the hell you wanna go!” Bette cried throwing her arms up in frustration.