Why did I come here? Oh my God, what if Tina sees me and runs? I told her last night that I didn’t want to see her, hear from her, or be near her anymore. I’m so confused; she’s definitely going to be confused. It feels like we’re doing the push me pull you dance.   I hate this, I hate this so much. I can’t even make up my fucking mind!

Bette was sitting in the waiting room of Dr. Marianne Clark’s office, rubbing the sides of her temples trying to soothe her impending headache. She had been running late this morning, after Tina left she had emptied two bottles of wine and woke with a terrible hangover. It was when she walked out the shower when she heard the answering machine.

The receptionist at Clark Psychological Services was leaving a message:

“Hi this is Andy, for Clark Psychological Services we just wanted to remind you Mrs. Kennard  of your ten o’clock appointment—“

What the fuck? Tina was seeing a psychologist? I didn’t even know this? Bette’s jaw dropped.

“Dr. Clark would also like to know if you’re going to be bringing your partner as well as we need to fill in a little more time for you both if she does—“

“Hello?” Bette said

“Oh. Hi Mrs. Kennard Good morning. This is Andy I just wanted to remind you and confirm your appointment with Dr. Clark at ten o’clock. Will you still be available?”

Bette was speechless. This was for real, she hadn’t heard wrong. Tina had been seeing a psychologist. Was it really that bad? Had Tina been actually trying to better herself in secret? Tears began to form again. Bette was sorry now that she ever pushed Tina away, thinking she would be better off without her. It made sense now, Tina was trying, she was putting the effort in to get better and she did it all while they were still together. She was even going to ask her to attend a session with her. I didn’t even give her a chance to ask me.

She cleared her throat and began.

“Hello, this Bette Porter.”