”She came today to tell me what I had known since Tara’s return. She looked so worried when she walked into my room, her beautiful face all pale and un-Willowy. She got my favourite candy from the machine in the hall, which helped. I’ve had girls break up with me before but it’s never been like this, it never hurt before, not really hurt. She sat on my bed and told me she was sorry. Her perfect green eyes twinkled with tears, not because of what she was losing but because she knew it would hurt me. I can’t believe her. It wasn’t even about her; at least it didn’t feel that way to me.

I can’t help but think if I’d been different then it might have worked out between us. If I hadn’t reacted so badly then she might still want me, if maybe I had tried to understand about Tara then maybe Willow would be with me, had given me that chance to show her something new.

She didn’t say the words exactly but its clear that she wants to be with Tara, was clear from the second she saw her. I pretended to be ok, to understand it. I don’t need her to see how I feel, not now, not when she doesn’t care, so I told her to get the hell out. She looked so hurt but I couldn’t have her there, I yelled at her again and again until she went.

I know what you’re thinking. That I’m a selfish ***** who got what she deserved. Am I right? Yeah, thought so. Well, y’know, I am selfish, I’m kinda used to getting my own way but its been that way all my life, no one ever told me ‘no’ or that I couldn’t have something. That takes a while to get out of but I’m learning slowly. This is the hardest lesson. I never loved someone before, and never realised that I actually love Willow, until she told me it was over. Now it’s too late!”

Buffy tapped her foot impatiently as she waited for the elevator. Looking around, she took the opportunity to do some people watching, wondering what circumstance had drawn them to Sunnydale General. From behind her a tall, well-built man entered and marched towards the elevators, his purposeful stride and confident manner drew the slayers attention. As he crossed to the panel in the wall, he reached out and stabbed at the button three or four times, causing Buffy to roll her eyes and raise an eyebrow questioningly. ‘What, you think I’ve just been stood here like an idiot without pushing the button?’ she thought sarcastically. ‘Like the elevators gonna come any quicker because you pressed the button too! Jerk!’