I woke to find the right side of the bed was cold. The sheets tangled into a chaotic mess, as I had managed to get caught inside the web. Much like my deceit.

As my eyes flickered to adapt to the light, I saw her. She was still here. Fuck I didn’t tell her. Through the mist of waking to a banging headache and trying to push what happened last night out of my mind. I realised I hadn’t even really attempted to tell Sam.

“Morning beautiful, I’ve brought us some croissants and the paper. I was thinking I could put up those shelves to mark my arrival like a plant. How good of a girlfriend am I?”

I lay there just staring in disbelief she really didn’t have no idea. She was a perfect girlfriend in my eyes, yet I’ve hurt her when I could have stopped it before it all got too far.

I let my eyes roam up and down her body, absorbing her overall physique I couldn’t help myself but I was already comparing it to Frankie’s. There wasn’t any similarities which made me question could I truly love two opposite women physically and emotionally?

Frankie always had this dark aura surrounding her, everything always felt so intense and mostly there was no apparent reason for the atmosphere between us. She rarely showed or talked about her emotions it was almost like drawing blood from a stone. It was hard work to get her to open up but when she did. I could see the vulnerable and needy side that wanted me. But not necessarily needed me.

Then there’s Sam the beautiful woman laying next to me, even as she reads the paper her forehead creases as her concentration deepens the sight is undeniably beautiful. I love how direct she is with me, she honest and reliable and that’s what I need. I want someone who will share their problems openly and want to integrate me into their life in every aspect.

When she touched me I truly felt her hands everywhere… Exploring me in depth met with her tender kisses placed on my skin. But last night with Frankie seemed different to all the other times we had sex. She was there emotionally and not just with her body like before. She relinquished all control and let me lead us into oblivion. A place I never knew existed with her; only Sam had taken me to that place.

All the emotions I felt created a stirring within my core, I wanted her right here and right now. Surely this would help me make up my mind. Right.

I shuffled my body over to meet Sam’s in the middle of the bed. She smiled as she draped her arm around me, before continuing to read she places a small kiss on my forehead. I deliberately caressed the side of her body. The warmth of her skin through her vest top increasing the heat within my fingertips. I place lace shapes with my fingers and caress her toned and tanned physique.

I feel her body react to my touch, I see her stomach do this dance as her heartbeat quickens. I had this affect on her. I trailed my nails into her skin softly; her head arches back. I run my hand over her breast quickly igniting a reaction as her erect nipple is now firmly poised between my fingers.

Draping my body over hers, I place my ear by her lips to hear and feel how I can make her feel.

We kiss tenderly, exploring one another. And there is it was. The reason I loved her. The way she whispered she loved me as she flipped my body underneath her. The demeanour of not trying to control the situation but her love for me in wanting to let go completely. Whenever she did this she really wanted me. Like never before. It was as if it didn’t matter how many times before we had taken this magical journey it was always like the first time with her.

I breathed heavily as she explored how wet I was; her hair fell onto my face. I loved when that happened although she would always try to cup it behind her ears. I pushed it from her eyes and looked deeper than before. I could lose myself in her, but would she still want me if she found out what had happened. Of course not! I would keep this to myself I wasn’t willing to lose her. Not this way.