Chapter 1 – Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

It isn’t often that one feels violated from a choice she makes herself, but kissing Eric was an activity that made Tina Kennard feel this way. His big hands were buried in her hair in a way that may feel tender and sexy to many girls, but she sensed their presence like weights. When he nipped her lower lip, she forced herself to bite back a cry of pain. Throughout the kisses, she followed Eric’s lead like she’d done many times before, but that didn’t make each time any less uncomfortable.

It was a dark Friday evening and the couple was in Eric’s mini-van, which he had led her to God-Knows-Where. Tina wasn’t sure why she went along with his pleas, until he broke the kiss and looked her straight in the eye.

“You’re so beautiful,” He breathed, cupping her cheeks in his hands. She blushed at his words. He had a way of making her feel so wanted, like she was as gorgeous as his words implied. “How did I get so lucky?” He continued softly, refusing to break eye-contact. A genuine smile lit up his face.

Tina bit back her guilt. She hated that he liked her so much more than she liked him. She didn’t understand how this was possible – He was the perfect gu­y. Eric was beyond handsome, he always called her back, he was polite and kind and he treated her like a princess. He was the kind of man that a little girl dreams of, that every mother wants for her daughter, and he was hers. The guilt overwhelmed her, but there was nothing Tina could do except follow his lead. She continued to hold his gaze, gripping inside herself for something to build her sexual desire. She wanted to experience the sensations she knew he felt, but her desire was purely emotional.

 “I don’t know, Eric. Let’s just kiss.” She thrust her lips back into his. Although kissing him was not comfortable, talking was worse. Talking made her think and thinking brought on the guilty feeling that constantly ebbed at her, haunting her like a shadow. It trickled through her veins and conquered her entire body. The feeling had gradually turned into a scar. Yet still, she kissed him, the only ounce of passion brought on by the powerful guilt. Even though they’d been dating for almost a year, Tina still had to remind herself of the appropriate way to respond to his kisses. If she didn’t remember to shut her eyes, they’d probably be open.