Aerin

I stared at my reflection in the pristine mirror that coolly gazed back at me. Hmmm … eyes blank, blood-shot, and tired, and the face overall seems thinner.   I maintained eye contact for as long as I thought I needed to make sure. How long since the captain had announced that we needed to return to our seats because of turbulence the pilots were anticipating?

The seconds, no, minutes ticked by.   I continued to stare at my reflection, studying it as if seeing my face for the first time in a long time. I’m staring to make sure of something. But what?

At length, the answer “that I’m actually here,” came.   I blew a warm breath on the spotless mirror, perhaps just to make sure, again. Mist formed on the smooth surface.   I wiped it off with the tissue I was still clutching. “I’m here. I exist.” I repeated to myself.

“I’m holding on, Chris,” I breathe out, after a few minutes of repeating the chant, saying her name slowly. “Your last miracle is holding up, baby.”

But this hurts like all hell, honey. I’m still not sure why I should bother. Moth or silkworm?

Silkworm, you said.

And then I heard, “Miss Palmer? Miss Palmer? Are you alright?” followed by staccato-like raps on the door.

I balled the tissue and pushed down on the lid that closed-off the trash chute by the small sink of the rest room. I dropped the balled tissue and other detritus of my visit to the lavatory down the trash chute, and then washed my hands again.

“I’m okay,” I called out as I slid the lock of the rest room door to the right and turned the doorknob to push the door open.

“Terribly sorry that we had to disturb you, miss. But the captain wants everyone to take a seat now,” the tall, slim flight attendant with a high pony that was all the rage these days said apologetically as I stepped out of the rest room.

She followed me back to my chair. As I settled into my seat, spreading the lotion I’d pumped on my palms all over my hands, wrists, and forearms, the flight attendant handed me a glass of the red wine that I’d asked for before stepping into the rest room. A thought crossed my mind that she’d followed me to my seat just to make sure I’d clicked my seat belt on as the captain had asked everyone to. I glanced up at her curiously.