“-Hello

-Hi Cat. We need to talk. You went away so quickly last night, we didn’t have time to… Discuss stuff.

-I agree. Frankie, I know I’m going to sound unfair and you’re not going to like this but… I want to be with Sam. You’re my best friend. I don’t want to lose you. I want to be there for you because I know you need me, like I need you. But not that way. Do you understand what I’m saying?

“-Fuck! Cat!” was what I had expected. I had expected anger, sadness or at least surprise. But my eyes opened wide with astonishment as I heard what she answered.

“-Yeah, that’s what I thought too. You’ve always been my best friend, and I know I’m just going to fuck it all up again. Sam truly loves you, you know. I can’t offer you what she can, and I can’t risk losing you again. I really need my friend right now, more than anything.

I felt a huge relief, as if I had just got rid of a heavy weight. I finally had my friend back.

“-I want to be there for you, I want to be able to talk to you about everything. I don’t want to have to worry about if you want more than that, or to have to feel guilty when I’m with you. I miss you Frankie.

-I miss you too. There’s just so much going on, I’m so fucked up with all this shit with my parents. I was so confused; I took what I felt for you for love. I miss my friend, that’s all I want. I want my friend back. I can’t have a relationship now, not with you and not with anyone.

-You can talk to me. But can we just… Forget about last night? I feel so guilty. Do you think it’s possible to pretend like nothing happened?

-I won’t say anything if you don’t want to tell her. I think you shouldn’t. I mean, I know I’m probably the last person who should give you advice about that but…What good could come out? Do you really want to break her heart? You two have something great; don’t fuck it up like I fucked us up.

-You’re right; I feel it would be selfish to clean my conscience by breaking her heart. Thank you.

-You’re welcome. Bye Cat.

-Bye Frankie, I’m glad I have you back for good.

-Me too.”

I hung up the phone, ending the conversation and in the same time ending so much wasted time. So much obsessing thoughts, unsatisfied desires, stressful doubts, eternal regrets. I finally knew what I had to do. I dialed the number and brought the phone to my ear. I felt calm; I was at peace for once.

“-Detective Sergeant Murray.

-Sam? It’s me, Cat.

-Hey babe, what’s up?

-I just realized I had forgotten to tell you something earlier.

-Yeah? What’s that?

– I love you.”