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    4. The Letter

    Jane showered and got ready for work, spending extra time on her hair and make up. She pulled out a blouse and blazer Maura had picked out for her on one of their shopping jaunts. She hoped she would not ruin her appearance before 5 by chasing and rolling a perp. It inspired her to do her usual morning ritual of buying them both coffee and taking it to Maura at the morgue. If Maura still wanted to run her off til 5 o’clock, she would have to deal with it.
    Her mid-section still had not recovered from the powerful spasm caused by the dream and Jane hated herself for being so blind to Maura’s needs. The coffee and Baklava were only small tokens of apology and repentance.
    She arrived at the morgue and found Chang working alone. Maura had called and said she would be in mid-day, planned the morning working from home.
    Jane wanted to rush over to Beacon Hill, but she couldn’t. She would have to wait-not so patiently and apologize profusely.
    The hindsight from the day before was staggering. Maura had little sleep the previous night and when Jane got off work early, they headed out together for lunch and an afternoon power nap at the detective’s apartment.
    None of that was out of the ordinary for them, but somehow, during sleep their bodies found each other on the bed. Just as Maura snuggled warmly in the nape of Jane’s neck, the detective leapt from her bed as if a spider had crawled across her face, and she grabbed it and flung it at the wall. Maura’s tenderness and affection was what she crushed.
    Jane was too embarrassed to speak, and Maura fled in tears.
    She knew she overreacted, she knew she was wrong, but she didn’t want to love Maura and then end up hurting her somehow. Her love for Maura was more than that, more than the physical act and she didn’t know if she could make the doctor understand that.
    When Jane arrived at her desk, there was a handwritten letter in the drawer. She recognized the writing and withdrew it, headed out to her car to sit and read it.


    Jane,
    I realized I am not yet ready to speak to you about what happened between us yesterday. I need a cooling off period,much like a gun purchase.
    I am sorry for forcing my intentions upon you, when clearly you do not want me as a lover. I
    was honestly still half asleep when I found, started nibbling your neck. We have slept side by side for years, I guess I am surprised it hasn’t happened before now. After all, you were the one who kissed me first. I promise to try to keep my libido in check, and try not to ruin our friendship or work relationship.
    I appreciate the love and care you feel for me and I will accept that as all it will ever be.
    Your life long BFF Maur-

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