“Give THAT to Celery and have her make you a protection charm!” She  laughed.

And he did, which surprised her. Her doctors had chastised, and threatened, but she didn’t care. What were they going to do, stop treating her? She still had another surgery ahead of her, and her doctors had promised to try to remove more of the offending pieces while she was under.

She closed her eyes, stopped scratching and rubbed. Scratching, she knew would only make it burn and itch more later. She heard Holly try to suppress a gasp. She opened her eyes to find Holly staring at the stretch of skin on her torso she had mindlessly exposed.

“Gail… I…” Holly said reaching for her.

Trembling fingertips glided gently over the topographical map of knotted, broken ribs, ravines of surgical scars on her spine and the hills and craters shrapnel had left in its wake. This was the healing touch she had craved for so long, and yet, it was pure agony.

“Don’t.” She whispered, grasping Holly’s wrists. “Please…”

Holly looked up at her, back down at her left hand with its missing fingers, and then back up, without removing her hands from Gail’s body. Gail couldn’t meet her eyes.

“Holly, don’t…” She tried to swallow, but only managed a dry cough.

“Gail, please let me touch you.” Holly pleaded, reaching up to cup Gail’s cheek with one hand. Gail still clinging to her wrist.

“I can’t..” She stammered, “I don’t want you to remember me like this…”

That brought a smirk to Holly’s lips.

“Oh, Gail, like I’m the hot young scientist you used to know.” She chuckled.

Gail relaxed slightly.

Becoming serious again she added, “And you, you are still so beautiful.”

Gail was shaking as Holly leaned in to kiss her mouth. What the hell was wrong with her? She could be brave! She was a fucking police officer, for Christ’s sake! She gripped Holly’s wrist tighter and leaned into the kiss. As Holly’s tongue met hers, all time, all pain, all fear simply melted away.

“Holly?” She said hoarsely, trying to get her breath and her heart beat back under control, as they finally pulled apart, “I can’t do this…”

“Oh, ok.” Holly said, withdrawing her hands “I know we’re not together anymore…” she continued, trying to keep the hurt from her voice, “I know that you were angry with me when you left… I don’t know what I did, or how I failed you…”