Then one day, without warning, suddenly Holly was back. Not just back, but kissing Gail with the ferocity of a hurricane, battering Gail’s senses, making her toes curl and her mind go blank.

“Wait! What the hell is going on, Holly?” she had managed to breathe out as she pushed Holly away and tried to get the world to stop spinning out of control.

“I missed you!” Holly said the words she longed to hear, but never thought would come, as Holly took off her glasses making Gail’s heart beat faster.

“What about your someone else?” She had weakly demanded, knowing that ultimately it didn’t matter, that she would give in to almost anything if Holly touched her again, and hating herself for needing Holly that much.

“We broke up. She said I wasn’t over my ex…”, was all it took to shatter any small amount of self control she might have had.

She had grabbed on to Holly like a lifeline, breathed her in like oxygen, and kissed her as if the apocalypse was here and the very world was about to end. Nothing had ever felt like the full body rush that came along with that kiss. And then her mind caught up with what they were doing. Damn it!

“Wait, wait! Oh my God, wait…” She pushed Holly away again, feeling as if someone had punched her in the gut at the loss of contact. Sophie. She was going to try to adopt Sophie. She was going to give that little girl the best life she could

Holly was rambling again, as she tended to do when she got nervous, something about dinner, something about tonight. Gail gripped the edge of the table behind her in an attempt to steady herself. Distance, that’s what she needed, distance to clear her mind and work through all of this. And so she put off their dinner meeting until the next day.

Fear gripped her as she started to tell Holly about her adoption plans and made her turn away. When she turned back, Holly was sitting down, a sad, sad smile on her face and unshed tears in her eyes. She had expected Holly to be angry, she had expected Holly to tell her she was wrong, she had not expected Holly to hold out to her the one thing she in her heart had wanted most, only one day too late. It hit her like a slap. She had to do everything in her power not to run out the door and never look back. She wanted to, could, would be a better person!