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    Section 1 – Iceburgs

    The Icebergs, floating in stunned peace that moves slowly toward the bright rim of the Earth, are mercilessly shattered by their own destiny. All of their whiteness was born of the dark, all of their fires were lit by the cold at the ends of the Earth. From their depth to their summits they were brought up to silence. They might have stayed there in perfect peace until all time had died. But there was a flaw in the whiteness. It was in love with the light. And with unspeakable pain it set out to reach the Sun, forsaking everything else forever.

    –       The Songs of the Icebergs, W. S. Merwin

     

     

    Holly has someone new. I should be happy for her.

    Gail pulled her knees up tighter to her chest in a vein attempt to fill the aching void that was threatening to swallow her whole. She stared out into the dark abyss of her room. The frame of her bed bit into her back as unwitting tears soaked into the flannel of her lounge pants. Her hand still hurt from having punched the bathroom stall at the Penny hard enough to leave a dent, when Holly had left with her new apparent someone, someone.

    “I am so fucking stupid!” she moaned into her knees, covering her head with her arms.

    Thank God for Chris! Although he had kept glancing nervously from Gail to Holly and back, he hadn’t asked any questions, he had just kept buying her drinks. And thank God that Chloe and Dov were so oblivious to anything outside of their own little Disney bubble they hadn’t noticed anything might be wrong. They had little cartoon hearts and birds spinning around their heads every time they looked at each other. It usually made her want to puke, but tonight she was grateful.

    When Holly had gotten up to go, she thought she saw her look her way, and for one brief instant she thought she saw Holly hesitate. But then her date had leaned over and said something that made Holly smile and laugh, the way Holly used to smile and laugh with her, as they put on their coats. When she saw Holly put her hand on the small of her date’s back to guide her through the crowded bar and out the door, Gail couldn’t take it any more. She kicked back her drink and stood up so fast it knocked her chair to the floor. Dov’s concerned question barely registered as she rushed to the thankfully empty lady’s room to punch the wall, and scream, and hide her tears in a stall.

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