I hope Alice doesn’t think it’s her fault. It’s Edwards fault. Not Alice’s, I thought.

“We could hardly talk; I was so worried about saying something that would upset her –the littlest things would make her flinch –and she never volunteered anything. She would just answer if I asked something. “She was alone all the time. She didn’t call her friends back, and after awhile, they stopped calling.

I had to force her to go out with a friend. And I don’t think that turned out very well…I thought.

“It was night of the living dead around here. I still hear her screaming in her sleep…” I shuddered just talking about it.

At least yesterday she didn’t scream. It must be because Alice is back, I thought.

“I’m so sorry, Charlie,” Alice said, voice glum. “It’s not your fault.”

It’s Edwards fault, I thought.

“You were always a good friend to her.”

“She seems better now, though,” Alice said. “Yeah. Ever since she started hanging out with Jacob Black, I’ve noticed a real improvement. She has some color in her cheeks when she comes home, some light in her eyes. She’s happier.” I think she’s better off with Jacob, I thought.

“He’s a year younger or so younger than her, and I think know she used to think of him as a friend, but I think maybe it’s something more now, or headed that direction, anyway.” “Jake’s older for his years,” I continued. “He’s taken care of his father physically the way Bella took care of her mother emotionally. It matured him. He’s a good-looking kid too–takes after his mom’s side. He’s good for Bella, you know,” I insisted.

“Then it’s good she has him,” Alice agreed. I sighed. “Okay, so I guess that’s overstating things. I don’t know…even with Jacob, now and then I see something in her eyes, and I wonder if I’ve ever grasped how much pain she’s really in. it’s not normal, Alice, and it…it frightens me. Not normal at all. Not like someone…left her, but like someone died.” My voice cracked.

I don’t know how hurt she really is. I can’t do anything. I’m not a good father…I thought.

“I don’t know if she’s going to get over it–I’m not sure if it’s in her nature to heal from something like this. She’s always been such a constant little thing. She doesn’t get past things, change her mind.” “She’s one of a kind,” Alice agreed in a dry voice.

“And Alice…” I hesitated. “Now, you know how fond I am of you, and I can tell that she’s happy to see you, but…I’m a little worried about what your visit will do to her.” “So am I, Charlie, so am I. I wouldn’t have come if I’d had any idea. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, honey. Who knows? Maybe it will be good for her.” “I hope you’re right.”

I just hope it will be good for her. I don’t think I would stand it if I had to go through all those things again, I thought.

“I hope you’re right.”

It will not be as bad as last time. Not if I can help it. I have to be a helpful father. Not a helpless one, I thought.

“Alice, I have to ask you something,” I said awkwardly. “Go ahead,” Alice said calmly. “He’s not coming back to visit too, is he?” I said, trying not to show my anger. “He doesn’t even know I’m here. The last time I spoke with him, he was in South America,” Alice answered in a reassuring tone.

“That’s something, at least.” I snorted. “Well, I hope he’s enjoying himself.” “I wouldn’t make assumptions, Charlie,” Alice said with a little bit of steel in her tone. I was surprised.

I scooted my chair loudly out from its spot. I went to the sink and rinsed my plate.

It’s Edward’s fault. All his fault that Bella was like that. He better not come back, I thought.