I take a deep drag off my cigarette, it’s my tenth one today and it’s barely noon. I keep going over the events of the last three weeks in my head. Tears are welling up in my eyes again, god I don’t want to cry anymore. "So what’s your deal?" The pretty brunette across the table asks me. As I look her up and down I can’t help but to think that Spencer would love her. She could easily pass as my older sister. "I don’t even know your name, and you want my life story?" I throw the question right back at her. "Wow, we have a sassy one! I was wondering when we were going to get some one that I could actually have a conversation with in here." she laughs as she finishes her sentence. "The name is Faith to answer your question." I just look down at the table and light up another cigarette. "Seriously I am not going to bite. You are going to be in here for thirty days you might as well try and make a friend." She is obviously not going to give up on this talking thing. "I am here for trying to kill myself." I give in and answer her question. "Drugs?" she simply asks. "No, I’ve been there before and beat that demon already. It’s a little funny to think that my first trip to rehab is not drug related. I was supposed to come to one of these places so many times before." I blow out a large cloud of smoke as I reply. "Well props to beating the drugs already. How did you do it on your own?" her left eyebrow goes up in curiosity. "The love of my life told me she would never talk to me again if she caught me shooting up one more time." Honestly giving up heroin was one of the easiest things I ever did with Spencer by my side. "If this "great" love could get you to stop doing dope, why did you try to kill yourself?" I look at her for a moment then my head drops into my hands and the tears start flowing harder than they have in a long time. Quickly she gets up and moves around the table to pull me into a hug. At first I fight her, try to move away, but the pain is just too much and I give in and just let her hold me. "It’s okay, It’s going to be okay. I’m sorry to get so personal. Don’t cry, you are going to be fine." she tries to soothe me. "It’s not fucking going to be okay!!" the words come out of my mouth so weakly.