“What if I just switch to sugar-free, fat-free pudding?  Then I’ll still be able to eat it without the physical consequences.”

“The nutritional content of the dessert is not the issue here.  What can you do to make your desire to eat pudding go away?”

Damn her and her non-dysfunctional solutions.  “Alright, alright!  I know where you’re going with this!  You think I need to seek some sort of resolution to my relationship with Kerry.”

“And…”

“What?”

“Kim!  Do I have to spell it out for you?  What did you just say that you realized after you moved here?”

I heave a monstrous sigh and drop my head in my hands.  “That I love her and I miss her.”

“And who do you think should know this so that you can have this humongous burden lifted off of your chest?”

“Kerry, but what do you expect me to do?  Go back to Chicago and tell her that I’m sorry the way I ended everything but I love her and miss her and want her back in my life?”

“Yeah, what’s wrong with that?”

“It’s been almost five years, she’s probably forgotten all about me!  What if she rejects me?  And how can I do that and let her see me like this?  She might not even recognize me!”

“If she rejects you at least you’ll have closure, if she loves you, she won’t care about your appearance anyway.  Kim, you have to do this, it’s the only way to get over this obsession.  Can’t you see what the pudding symbolizes?”

What?  The realization just hit me.  “Oh my God, you’re right.  The pudding is Kerry; Kerry is the pudding.  I can’t have her, but I can have the dessert we used to share.  Holy *****!”

“Yes, that’s right.  And wouldn’t you rather have her?”

It all made sense to me now.  “Yes, yes I would.”

Ding!

“Aaaahhh, perfect timing lady!  Alright, so your assignment is to contact Kerry and tell her how you feel.  I don’t care if you write, email, call, or see her face to face, but you need to tell her what you told me today.  Okay?”

“Okay, deal.  Thanks Jenn, you’ve been an enormous help.”

She gives me a huge hug.  “Hey, anything for you babe.  After you do the deed, give me a call and let me know how it goes.”

“Okay.”  I leave with a smile on my face and purpose in my step.  I had a goal.