Despite my having almost every period with Edward, Alice showed up to walk with us between every class. After school, she rode home with us – again, and stayed over. This time, however, she didn’t insist on Bella-Barbie – much to my pleasure – and Edward did not show up when his visiting hours came – much to my dismay.

“Alice, why didn’t Edward come?” I whispered as we walked down stairs for dinner.

She bounded into the kitchen and made two plates of food before answering. “Because it’s my turn to spend time with you! Here is your dinner. Let me take the other plate to Charlie. Be right back!”

Alice walked back out the kitchen doorway with a plate full of food and I sat down quietly, listening.

“Thank you, Alice,” Charlie said.

“Anytime! It’s just so nice to spend time with Bella.”

“Okay. You two finish up, though. It’s getting late and you should get home before your parents worry too much.”

“Sure thing.”

She came back in the kitchen and I rushed to take a bite to cover up the fact I was listening.

“I’m going to go now. Okay?”

“Kay, Alice.”

“See ya tomorrow!” Alice waved as she stepped out the door.

I finished my dinner and put the dishes away. Without bothering Charlie, I made my way upstairs and decided to shower. Once free of my clothes, I stepped into the stream of water and tried to relax.

Edward spent so little time with me today. I really missed him. Instead, Alice took up my entire day, filling it with talk and homework.

What if Edward really was leaving? And these last two days, he was busy packing? Was I really that much of a problem?

I don’t think I could bear losing him again. All those months alone were spent in a depressed, zombie-like state. By the time Edward came back, I was suicidal – not because of the cutting. How could I survive without him?

Tears began to fall and I reached for the razor. My vision was blurry, but I managed to grasp the handle and bring it to my arm without unnecessary injury. Blindly, I broke the skin and felt the crimson blood pour out.

The pain filled my body and mind. With it came the hole in my body from Edward’s absence, doubling the feeling.

When the cut scabbed over, I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. Slowly, I dressed and walked to my room. All I wanted now was to collapse in bed and lose consciousness. As I waited for sleep, I wished for Edward to come back. His leave would likely end up being tragic.

Seconds after my silent wish, a cold hand wrapped around my new, burning cut. I sighed in relief.

“Bella,” a pained, angelic voice whispered inches from my ear.

I groaned and turned on my side, careful to leave the burning cut in the cold hand. A sad-looking Edward filled my view.

“What were you think about?” he asked, slightly more composed.

“I was spending all my time with Alice; I thought you were getting ready to leave again. You didn’t show up today.”

“Bella,” he whispered harshly. “I’m not leaving. I promise. It’s just – you mentioned my family leaving and you missed them as well. I just wanted to let you spend time with Alice. That way you know none of us will leave. Plus, Charlie only allows me during “visitor hours” and I wanted you to always have someone with you. I am so sorry, Bella. It seems everything I do is wrong.”

“It’s okay, Edward,” I said, reaching out with my right hand to touch his cheek.

He turned his head and kissed my palm before slipping onto the bed next to me. His arms wrapped around my body, never letting go of the fresh cut.