Spencer was home, in bed, alone. She couldn’t do much, barely able to hobble around on her leg, her stomach still aching with every movement. Her family went out to eat as a celebration of Glen graduating but Spencer didn’t want to go, she still couldn’t eat that much and felt sick but insisted the rest of the family go and have fun. So now she was alone, in the dark because she felt too weak to actually get up and turn the light on. Spencer didn’t understand her feelings as of late, the doctors had her take psychological tests for people in comas and disability injuries often became depressed. And maybe she was but she managed to pass all the tests, manipulate the answers to please the doctors.

Her heart restricted, she didn’t like being away from Ashley and she felt utterly stupid for that feeling. Who can’t go without seeing somebody more than a few hours? Spencer couldn’t and it drove her crazy. The darkness seemed to grow and for some odd reason she became afraid of the dark after the incident where as before she loved laying there in the silence of the night, it was so peaceful but now it scared the hell out of her. Spencer stared at her ceiling, when she woke up everything was suppose to be okay. She and Ashley are working things out and all the thoughts of the brunette running off with Aiden had totally abandoned her mind, she no longer felt threatened by him.

Every thing was her fault, it was irrational, she knew it but it didn’t stop running thru her mind because of that thought. The shooting was her fault, her parents’ breaking up was her fault, Ashley running off to talk to Aiden more than her was her fault, and the war in Iraq was her fault. Irrational yes, she knew it. How could she possibly start a war in a third world country from all the way over here? She didn’t know but it was her fault.

Her body was shaking with little tremors; sweat glistened on her pale white skin, her breathing erratic and her lungs burned. She didn’t know what to do, she wanted the light on but couldn’t move, she needed to hear a voice but no one was home, she wanted warm arms wrapped around her but there was no flesh. Spencer wanted to be strong, she couldn’t burden her parents, they were busy dealing with divorce and each other, Glen was gone, in the army and she never knew when she’d get to talk to him. Clay was dealing with Chelsea and a baby on the way and having to figure out college and money. Then there was Ashley, she wanted to call but not. She was afraid that if she clung to the brunette pulled her close and showed her fears and weakness than Ashley would pull away and again it would be her fault.

Spencer felt the tears building but refused to cry, the tremors getting worse which shook her bruised belly making the pain worse. She reached her hand out to the night table, grabbing her phone, she couldn’t take it any more, the darkness the cold the silence. She pressed speed dial 1 and waited……………………..waiting……………………tears began to spill as she pleaded for someone to pick up…………….waiting………………

“Hello?”

“I need you, I’m sorry to call but I need you here, I need someone here right now. Make the darkness go away, it’s so dark….” Spencer ranted into the phone, calming down slightly only when the familiar voice told her that they’d be there as soon as possible and hanging up. Now she waited again, in the darkness, in the silence.

TBC.