“You did get most of the venom out, but I believe enough remained as to enable it to assimilate itself, much like a retro virus, into Bella’s DNA. The process of her change had begun then, and lay dormant until more venom was introduced to complete the process. Because it became part of her human anatomy, it took on human characteristics. So when she changed, the already adapted venom was stronger than the new venom. It was the dominant force, and therefore kept its human traits, and in turn so did Bella. I believe this makes her stronger than us, stronger than a newborn even. Moreover, I believe this strength will not diminish as long as her heart beats.”

“And…how long…will that…be?” My voice was laboring, and my heart was beating so loudly I thought it would drown out my voice.

“Bella?” Edward asked anxiously. “What is it Bella, what’s wrong?”

The voice was screaming, screaming for me to get away, get outside and go after… after…what? I didn’t know, but I wanted it!

I stood up and backed away from them, my heart pounding, my breathing erratic, and the voice in full command. I realized my throat was on fire, and I had to get relief!

Carlisle and Edward stood up very slowly.

“Be careful,” Carlisle warned, “She’s out of control Edward. Look at her eyes, they’ve darkened in color.”

Edward looked at me, his face hard and tense. “Bella, it’s ok,” he tried to soothe, as he moved towards me.

“Stay AWAY!” I screeched at him. He stopped dead in his tracks and looked at me with genuine fear.

Carlisle picked up a silver cell phone, and dialed quickly. Somewhere in the house I heard the soft rhythmic ring of another phone. My eyes focused on the study door, my escape! I started moving towards it in what felt like slow motion.

In a split second, I was out the door, flying down the stairs. At the bottom of the stairs, I saw Jasper and Emmett blocking my way. “NO!” I growled. I leaped to my right, Emmett trying to meet me in the air, but missing. I catapulted myself along the upper wall of the entry, and smashed through a window

.

     Off the porch in one swift movement I ran. I picked up speed every step. A sunny day would not have stopped me; but luckily it was cool and overcast, a typical Forks afternoon. I felt alive, free, and searching. I was looking for something, and I would find it; I HAD to find it. I forgot everything, Edward, the family, my weird experience with the Volturi. Nothing else existed except to find it! I ran I don’t know how many miles, and then I stopped as if I hit a wall. I stopped and detected an aroma, a heavy scent in the air; it sent a wave through my body that made me shiver. My mouth was on fire, and I knew the aroma was the key to putting it out. I moved towards it stealthily, making no sound. My feet felt so light on the ground it was if I was flying. Then I heard it…growling, hissing a warning. I came into a clearing and I saw it! Yellow-eyed, and lethal…but so was I. The mountain lion was crouched looking in the opposite direction. I hear a strange clicking sound a few yards off, I smelled a new aroma. The voice considered switching my target, until the smell resembling tobacco and beer hit me. It was repulsive. I turned my attention back to the cat. Like a shot it took off running to the east, I pursued. As we ran, I heard a distant voice say, “Dammit, there goes my trophy.” I smiled and continued my pursuit. The mountain lion was incredibly fast, but it was no match for me. I finally cornered it against a small cliff. It turned to face me, and screamed a warning at me. I paid no attention, but moved slowly towards it. It crouched again ready to attack; I did the same. It was so fast; I barely could tell how I did it. The lion jumped towards me, I moved forward over it, twisting in the air. As I passed over it, I grabbed the head and twisted, feeling the neck snap! I landed and walked back to my trophy. I found the warmest part of the neck, and let my teeth do the rest. It was warm and satisfying, and it made the voice rejoice and then disappear. I found myself regaining control. When I could no longer taste blood flowing I dropped the dead lion. For a moment, I closed my eyes and stood still, feeling the warmth of the blood radiate throughout my body, down my throat, through my limbs to my fingers and toes. I felt sane and comfortable again, like myself, like Bella. I opened my eyes and began to look around. I saw the mountain lion at my feet. I had not even considered the animal while I was hunting it and feeding, but I now looked at the lion differently, sympathetically. I sat down and stroked the majestic animal’s head; tears welled up in my eyes, and of course, I cried. I picked up the lions head and laid it gently in my lap, stroking its head. I knew what I had done and why, but it still broke my heart to see the beautiful animal dead. Alone on the cliff, I sat with the lion for I don’t know how long. I mourned the lion as though it were a friend.

   “Bella?” I finally heard Edward’s voice gently and cautiously behind me. “What?” I whispered as I cried.

 “It’s alright sweetheart.”

Carefully began to lift me away from the mountain lion, but I pulled myself back to it and sobbed, “No, no! I did this, I killed it!”

“I know that Bella,” he said as he stroked my hair.

“I’m a murderer, a monster, a freak!”  

“You are none of those things love.”

I couldn’t look back at him; I just kept staring at the lion.

Knowing I was too strong for him to force me he pleaded, “please come away Bella, we can’t stay here by the kill.”

I finally let go of the animal, and Edward swung me up into his arms, and ran me away from my first kill. I said nothing the entire way back to the house. He seemed to understand that I didn’t have any conversation in me. When we arrived back at the house, the entire family was waiting for us. I buried my face in Edward’s chest, and he took me upstairs to our room. Edward put me on the bed, lay down next to me, and just held me. I knew what had happened, and I felt what it was like to “give myself over” to my instincts. I now realized now all too well, why Edward had never wanted me to see him hunt. I pulled myself closer to Edward, and said nothing. He began humming my lullaby and I just listened and silently cried.