He nodded. The realization that I was ready now set an uncharacteristic layer of fear over his face. He composed himself quickly and exhaled a short laugh.

“It’s ironic, isn’t it? You’re the one giving up your humanity forever, and I’m the one who is terrified about it.”

“I’ll be able to handle it.” I assured him.

“Its not you that I am worried about.” He mumbled almost inaudibly.

“Don’t worry,” I brushed my fingers across his lips. “I trust you.”

“That’s the problem.” He grimaced, “You trust the monster in me far too much for your own good.”

“Edward, if I honestly thought that you were a monster, do you think I would be choosing this?”

“Yes.” He replied curtly. He was right.

I frowned. “Edward, you’re not a monster.”

“Maybe not now,” he allowed. “but once I taste your blood, Bella, you have no idea what I could turn into. Bella……what if I kill you?” His face contorted from the terrifying images he was no doubt imagining.

“You wont kill me.” I pulled his chin up until he met my gaze. “You stopped once before, remember?”

“But Carlisle was right there, waiting to stop me if I got carried away.” He gulped back a fresh wave of fear. “And besides, I don’t even know how I was able to stop the first time. You can’t trust that the self control will magically reappear.”

“You’re stronger than you think.” I brushed a stray lock of golden hair out of his face. “And besides, we can have Carlisle on stand-by again. Plus, Alice can warn us if she sees something going wrong.” I pointed out.

“Bella, your life is far too important to me to trust an imperfect vision of the future.” He groaned. “I don’t know what I would do if…I mean, I would…… Bella, I would die if I lost you. Especially if I am the one to blame! This scares me, Bella. You don’t realize how much.” He struggled to compose himself, but the fear that twisted his face was excruciating. I suddenly felt a pang of guilt at my selfishness.

“Edward, you don’t have to be so brave. Carlisle can do it. I’m fine with that. He said he wouldn’t have a problem-”