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    Easier Road

    `How stupid can I be?! I can’t lose her, too…I don’t know what to do
    without her. I need Leo, but I don’t have him. I only really have
    her, but not now. Now, I’ve messed it up. I pushed her away when I
    should have pulled her to me.’ Bianca runs through the freezing rain
    toward the boathouse, `She hates me now. I don’t blame her. I mean
    I screamed at her in front of her entire class about…oh *****…what
    have I done?!’ she enters the boathouse soaked through and sits on
    the bench.

    "Oh, Maggie. I’m sorry." She whispers to herself. She shivers in
    the cold, but doesn’t notice, "I didn’t mean it and now I’ve lost
    you, too."

    `Isn’t there something you could do?’ her mind whispers to her.

    "I don’t know what. I know I’ve pushed too far this time." She
    chokes out.

    `If you would only be honest with yourself and her….’

    "Yeah, honesty. I know I love her. There honesty." Bianca bites
    out.

    `Yeah, you know, but she doesn’t. It might be….’

    "I can’t. That really could be the last straw." She lowers her head
    into her hands.

    `What else do you have to offer this time? You have apologized
    enough to make even yourself sick. What else do you have, but your
    love to offer?’

    "N-nothing…but she…she won’t want it…not now especially."

    `You don’t know that, because frankly you are being a coward.’

    "I…it will only hurt me again."

    `She would never hurt you…you know that. That’s why you are really
    scared.’ Her inner voice accuses.

    "I…I…it’s all I have left to give, but what if she doesn’t want it?"

    `Then, she’ll tell you, but quit trying to guess. It is the gesture
    that will count.’

    With one last sigh, Bianca gathers what little courage she has left
    and walks back out into the freezing rain. She could wait for Maggie
    at the Inn, but that might be too late. Her heart tells her she
    needs to do this now. It has to be done immediately and for once her
    inner voice isn’t arguing but agreeing. She trudges along in the
    rain out to PVU. Maggie has lab now. Bianca knows the building
    well. She and Maggie have spent many nights doing homework there.
    She comes up to grassy yard outside the glass windows of the
    building. She can see Maggie and her classmates performing some kind
    of task. She stands helpless as the rain pelts down on her. She
    watches as Maggie turns to her book, but doesn’t really seem to be
    interested in what is happening in her class.

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