It wasn’t entirely scandalous…

Italy had changed everything. I knew now that Bella was essential to my existence.

…Jacob does not want to talk to her… could have called him over and let them talk it out…Charlie was rambling…Jacob and Billy could both…

I blocked him. Jacob Black. Jacob Black. Jacob Black. Was it truly necessary to continually repeat his name? This brutal trigger for my feelings of inadequacy.

Inadequacy. Yes, that's exactly what it was. Hatred rooted in inadequacy as well…

I considered my adversary. Essentially, he was a good person and I knew that. His thoughts were irritating, juvenile, and hormonal, but he was a very genuine young man.

And yet, sincerity aside, it was also true that he was irrevocably in love with Bella. The mixture of emotions that fact stirred was frightening. This was not entirely my fault. His thoughts had revealed too much of his desperate love.

The evening he'd betrayed her trust, he'd been in a highly emotional state. Images, many of the most intimate nature, flew from his mind in a near constant stream of agony, jealousy, pain, frustration, longing, and sadness. Of course, he'd gotten them under control long enough to torment me with the image of her in the woods…the woods…the image was unbearably painful. Whether intentional or not, he’d left me with the distinct knowledge that we shared one common desire and love: Bella.

And yet, the essential question was not whether he loved Bella. This was certain.

The essential question was whether she loved him.

Was my presence in her life the only force that stood in the way of her true happiness, distracting her from her true feelings for him? The words rang false in my own ears even as I thought them, but I still could not shake the feeling that I was an obstruction, an unnatural hindrance, one that should not otherwise exist. Stop it…

I’d been through this thought process before. It ultimately lead to Volterra.

I sighed. I needed a distraction.

My eyes opened the moment I considered my new need. In an attempt to distract myself, I focused once more on determining the security of my present station. I assessed the hums and sounds in the vicinity. Remarkably, I was still undetected.