You’re not a strong person. You know you should be, and there are people who think you are. But to you, they’re wrong. How could they be right, when you feel so weak all of the time?

The phone is ringing and you know it’s Michael. You refuse to leave the bath to answer his call, and wait until you can hear his voice clear on the machine. “Hey baby it’s me, pick up.” Your stomach turns. So much has happened in the past few weeks. You’ve thought about it so often that you can pinpoint the exact moment things started to go wrong: when Annabelle first paused in her arrogant stride to flash you a smirk. You’d felt slightly awkward.

Weeks later and she is poetically explaining an orgasm to you in your class. Being as strong and professional as you’d thought was necessary; you expressed your disapproval. Only to have her eyes wander appreciatively over your body, and her lips form a smirk of knowing. Thusly, your slight awkwardness manifested to the brink of extreme discomfort.

Of course, it took more than her suggestive tendencies for you to reach this stage. For lack of a better phrase, Annabelle gets under your skin. She seems to penetrate through every protective barrier and façade you have ever built, only to touch you exactly where you are most vulnerable. You suspect she knows that you are weak and you dread the consequences of her discovering your history with Amanda, or the existence of Michael.

Speaking of whom, Michael has finally stopped talking to your answering machine and it has switched off; probably as relieved as you are. Michael. You feel sorry for him. A fact you have no problem admitting. To yourself. You consider him another weakness. You humour him. You go out, send him pointless little text messages when you’re apart, and you let him use your body. Somehow though, you can’t bring yourself to move in with him. Michael is not who or what you want, and your indecision leaves you both suspended in limbo. He wants you too much to say goodbye, and you want a normal, accepted life too much to leave.

The thought of Michael fills you with dread and you let yourself sink further into the water; hoping he would just wash away. Of course, that would mean you would be alone. With school. And Annabelle. You’re not sure you could cope.