-ASHLEY’S POV-

Spencer’s body tightened in my grip. She began to struggle.

“Let me go, Ashley.” She growled. I held on to the smaller form as she tried to wiggle from my arms.

“Spence…”

“Ashley, you let go of me right now.”

“No, baby. You’re gonna sit still and we’re going to talk this out.” I said sternly.

“Talk this out, YOU’RE ADDICTED TO COCAINE!”

“Don’t yell at me!” I said through gritted teeth. I was getting tired of this.

“You we’re yelling at me!”

Ring, ring, ring…
Groaning, Spencer reached over and picked up her phone.

“What?!” She literally growled into her pink LG Chocolate. I rolled my eyes. This was ridiculous. I was having a fight with my half dressed girlfriend while I was in a cut off neon pink tank top and pajama pants with cupcakes on them. I couldn’t even take us seriously. “Mom, no, I can’t…. I’m sorry, this is more important… Fine, ground me… yes I’m with her…. DON’T YOU DARE CALL HER THAT!!” What did they say to her? Damn it, why is she crying? What they hell did they say to her?!

“Baby?”

“I hate you!” Her phone was thrown onto the ground before she hurled herself into my arms. I held her awkwardly.

“Spencer, what happened?” I asked softly.

“My mom…” Pulling away she glared at me realizing that she was about to give in. “And you know what hurts? When I was defending you, I was really thinking about how much I hate youright now.”

“You don’t mean that, Spencer?” She shook her head.

“You’re not who I fell in love with. I’m sorry, but I need a break. I’m going to call Glen to pick me up.” I yanked her back onto the bed. “Ashley!”

“You love me.” It came out more as a plea.

“Why do you do this to me?” Spencer curled into me and I held her close to me, scared she would disappear. “I’m just so…” Taking a deep breath she continued, “so afraid of you sometimes.”

“What?” The word broke out of me and I cringed at how broke it sounded.

“Every time we move forward something happens and I’m scared Ashley. I don’t know what to do sometimes. Jack and Michael are the only experience I have and- and they didn’t prepare me to fall in love with you. I’m not ready to deal with these things.” I held her quietly and continued to listen because I knew she had more to say. “What if you have a lot of trouble kicking these addictions? And you get angry again or- or hurt me- yourself. I just don’t know what to do because it really hurts and I really love you.” I kissed her head and hoped she didn’t notice the tears fall onto her. I loved Spencer so much and I couldn’t stand knowing how much pain this was causing her.

“Spencer-”

“I think we should take a break. Be friends until you sort out your life.”

“Would that make you happy?” I asked quietly so she wouldn’t hear my voice shaking.

“No… but it’s what I need us to do.” I let a whimper slip as I brought her as close to me as possible and fell against her. Feeling her in my arms for the last time.

“Ok…” I whispered into her hair. It smelled like strawberries and vanilla. Spencer took a shaky breath and began to get up. I had to tell myself not to reach out a grab her. Not to lie to her and tell her that it would be ok, easy even. She turned to look at me and quickly ran back towards me, tears streaming from her eyes and placed a heartbroken kiss against my lips. Pulling back she turned away, wrapping her arms around herself. I heard her start to cry as she ran out of my room.

Even though I loved her, I had to let her go. Maybe… maybe she’d come back though be. Maybe we would be ok…