I have never wanted to spend so much time with someone in my life. I love being around her.
 I cannot explain it. She just makes me feel… something.  I cannot quite put my finger on it. I really think I am getting feelings for my ‘straight’ best friend. Ha straight, I swear to god that Spence is not straight. I pray to god that Spence is not straight.
But even if she was gay, I don’t think that she would see me as more than a best friend. I mean why would she want me. The bad girl wannabe that has been kicked out of two schools when she could have anyone she wanted. God she is just so breathtakingly beautiful. I swear every time I see her she looks more stunning. Those eyes of hers.  Those amazingly blue eyes that remind me so much of the ocean, my favorite place in the world. God I would happily drown in those eyes. Every time she looks at me, looks me dead in the eye, I fall that little bit more. I am falling so fast and there is nothing I can do about it. In fact, if there were something I could do, I wouldn’t do it.
What I wouldn’t give to wake up every day and see those eyes looking back at me. I want her to be mine so badly. I want to show her the world. I want to give her everything her heart desires. I want to treat her like a princess. I want to be the one to cry when she cries, laugh when she laughs. I want to fall asleep with her in my arms and wake up with her safe in my arms.

Even if she is gay and she doesn’t see me as anything more than I friend. I still want to give her the world and treat her like the princess that she is.

I want to make it my duty to make sure that she is never hurting.

If she is gay, I want to protect her form all the homophobic hate in the world. In fact, all I want to do is protect her no matter what.

I hope one day I will have the courage to tell her all that.