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    Feel Alive – (Chapter: Not a beginning?)

    Greenlee stands facing the wall with her fingers pinching the bridge
    of her nose. The damn therapist had hit just too close to home. She
    suddenly screams out her frustration and clears the table in front of
    her with a sweep of her arms. Her hair flies wildly around her face
    as she stomps her foot.

    `***** therapist! How dare she get me to admit that I hate Leo
    right now!’ Greenlee screams in her own head not wanting to voice it
    out loud again. Another scream works its way from within her and
    comes out of her mouth strangled sounding as she turns resting
    herself on the table she cleared moments ago in her tirade. When she
    looks up blowing the hair out of her face, she sees Kendall staring
    at her with a look of concern and perhaps something else, but she
    isn’t sure what.

    "How long have you been there?!" Greenlee spouts.

    "Um…" Kendall shakes her head clearing strange thoughts from
    it, "Longer than you would want me to admit."

    "How long?" Greenlee demands.

    "Long enough to know you are seriously hurting and that you don’t
    really mean you can’t forgive Leo." Kendall admits.

    "You’ve been here all that time?!" Greenlee starts to shake.

    "I didn’t…didn’t mean to intrude, but I…I was worried about you. You
    never believe me, but I do worry about you. You seem so lost and out
    of touch." Kendall notices the shaking and begins to move closer to
    her partner.

    "Lost?!" Greenlee laughs viciously, "Out of touch?! Touch…what the
    ***** is that?!" Greenlee screams.

    "Greenlee….you’re not alright…please don’t say you are." Kendall is
    practically right in front of her.

    "You…and everyone…even Bianca, Damn her! You all want to make sure
    I’m not breaking. You all want to put whatever is broken back
    together! You can’t! He’s gone and you can’t ***** fix it! See,
    gone.." she whirls around showing it is just her standing there.

    "Greenlee…I.." Kendall tries.

    "No! You don’t get it. Out of touch?!?!?! Let me tell you about
    touch. Not one of you has reached out to touch me. David…he hugged
    me…he tried, but it was too much for him. I must be tainted….or do I
    burn you all?! No one has offered anything to me, but useless words
    and sentiments. Liza…she tried too, but then she simply gave me a
    number to someone else. You all pass me along like I’m some
    charity. I don’t have dreams. I don’t have fantasies left. I am
    trying desperately to live through all of yours, but I am not even
    good at that. None of you…not one of you has reached out to me
    really. Am I so scary no one can see…." Greenlee stops talking as
    the sobs wrack her body.

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