Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why.
You’ve been rejected, and now you can’t find what you left behind.
Be strong, be strong now.
Too many, too many problems.
Don’t know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody’s home.
It’s where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can’t find.
She’s losing her mind.
She’s fallen behind.
She can’t find her place.
She’s losing her faith.
She’s fallen from grace.
She’s all over the place.
Yeah.

She wants to go home, but nobody’s home.
It’s where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

She’s lost inside, lost inside…
She’s lost inside, lost inside…

I close my notebook and close my eyes knowing how true those words were. Home was a word I no longer knew and longed for. An empty apartment is a poor substitute for that feeling of a true home whatever that was exactly.

Thinking back I remember how much I didn’t know about what a true family was or how a real home was supposed to be. So many bad memories were in place of what should have been good memories.

I reach over and pick up my guitar and sit back in my chair. I strum the strings softly letting the music take me away temporarily from the thoughts that had now consumed my head.

*********

“Now presenting Sir Jonathan Wriley and Lady Samantha Wriley.”

I look over at the older couple who are now bowing before my parents. The woman has a rather cold expression like my mother’s and the man looks as if he is hiding a secret or two.

I let my eyes move across the room and inside I scream to the room how lucky they are to be on that side of the throne. I straighten my back and smooth down my gown making sure not to embarrass my parents amongst their guests.

I watch my father stand and the room quiets instantly. He puts his charismatic smile on and raises his hand before he speaks.

“Good evening my fellow guests. I do hope you have enjoyed this evening’s nourishments and entertainment.” The room applauds politely in response. “Tonight is much more than just a gathering of friends you see.” My father looks to me and I stand. “Tonight it is my greatest pleasure to announce the engagement of my dear daughter Ashley Davies to my good friend Sir David Martin of Redmond.”

I look to my future husband and see his wide unfriendly smile. I can’t help but wonder why my father would choose such an untrustworthy man to take his daughter’s hand. I feel my stomach begin to tighten and feel my heart beating against my chest harshly.

“Dear Miss Ashley are you alright?” I hear Alice say behind me.

I begin to slowly nod my head and then all goes black.