The Number 18: Ashley’s Point of View

Love is the Slowest Form of Suicide. Who knew such a cliche statement held so much truth behind the meaning…
I sure as hell had no idea that love could be associated with the lowly term known as ‘Suicide‘ until the day I fell in love with a young man by the name of Aiden Dennison. God, what a horrible name! I can taste the vomit sliding up my throat just thinking about him. Yuck!

The story behind Aiden is complicated, that’s why I refuse to remember all the details about our relationship, and that’s why I want to vomit at the sound of his hideous name…

Anyways, the day I fell for him was the day of my eighteenth birthday. I met him at my party exactly eighteen minutes past twelve o’clock. A total coincidence, right?
Well, when our eyes finally met for the first time, I felt my heart swell and I thought that it signaled a romantic connection between him and I. He walked up to me with a small smile on his face and introduced himself as captain of the King High Cobras Basketball team. Of course I found it attractive that this handsome, charming gentleman was an athlete so I cheerfully exchanged conversation with him for three hours straight that night. I regret doing so, however, because eighteen hours later Aiden Dennison became my boyfriend.

At first, I thought it was strange that he asked me out the same day we actually met but I shrugged it off because I thought this would be an excellent opportunity to get to know him better. Man, just remembering this makes me feel like a worthless whore but I must continue if I want to move on. After getting to know Aiden a little bit better, it turned out that he was a complete psychopath underneath his charming exterior. It took me eighteen months to figure that out before I painfully broke up with him. I normally don’t like looking back at my relationships but being with him, reviewing that flawed relationship reminds me of the mistakes that I shall never again make in my future relationships. I’m hoping that there will be a future relationship for me soon despite what I threatened Aiden with after we ended our relationship. What did I threaten him with? Well, after he flew off the handle for the reason me being bi-sexual, I told him, well practically screamed at him, that I would commit suicide because of what he put me through. He looked apathetic for a moment after I mentioned suicide. Only for a peaceful moment, though, before he raised his hand at me and slapped me so hard across the head, it nearly knocked me out. Apparently, it wasn’t the kind of reaction I was hoping for. I thought that he would grovel and apologize for the stupid things he did to me. Instead, he spat on me and blamed the failed relationship on my sexuality, claiming that I was just a slut looking for attention. Ha! The guy put me through relentless hell for over eighteen months, and if you experienced what I unfortunately experienced, you probably would have wanted to hang yourself in your closet as well. He was very controlling and verbally abusive, yet he didn’t expose those characteristics until six months of being with him had passed.
It’s crazy how someone can change in an instant when they’re with someone they supposedly love with their whole heart and soul. Ugh. I don’t want to think about this anymore. The thought of my relationship with him depresses me and I do not want to be burdened with memories of him anymore. It hurts…