Carlisle Cullen

I am a monster because of my craving for their innocent blood

I wonder how I can change what I am and help rather than hinder

I hear their cruel words toward the beast that I am now

I see their frightened faces and understand just how wrong I was as a human

I want to find a way out of this nightmare that is what I am

I am determined to discover the escape route from my needs

I pretend to be a normal human with a normal family and normal life

I feel the joy of helping others through my work as a reward rather than a burden

I touch the pale skin of my wife, Esme and of my family, and I worry if this life was right for them

I worry most for Edward who is so different from the rest of us, and I always regret putting him through this

I cry silently to myself when the need to appear normal takes away from the work I use to make up for my being

I am trying hard to prove there is good in me, in what I am

I understand what I’ve done can never be taken back – every one I’ve changed, every death that’s occurred because of me

I say everything will work out and be fine – that nothing will ever take away from the life I’ve built

I dream of the day when I can give my family everything I have, everything they want – I would sacrifice anything for them

I try, every day, to be the strong one, to never give in, and help them to do the same – to prove we can be better than our instinct

I hope Edward will never falter; I love him dearly, in a way I could cherish none of the others – he is special and significant, and I hope Bella will make this life better for him

I am learning, every day, there is a better way to live the eternal life I have been given