I awake as the sunshine filters through the window and grazes my body. I take in the familliar sent of sweet cinamon mixed with a bit of vanilla. I only thought your scent was gone from my LA home. However it still lingered in the air. Or was that just another illusion created by my mind to keep me from feeling the lonelinessthat weighed heavy on my mind.

I let my eyes slowly wonder the room as i try my hardest to get up and go to work. They gave me the rest of the week off but i turned down the offer. I need to stay busy to keep you from my mind. I drifted myself from bed and went into the bathroom. In my desperate attempt to remove the towel from my fist, it was stuck. I ran the cold water over it to loosen it from the skin before pulling it off.

I ignored the glass all over the floor and just layed my bloody towel on top of it to keep it from cutting my feet. I ran the hot shower and let the warm steam embrace my body as i washed away the dirt. I swear you apeared in the steam and held me tight. Like everything else in my life, you werent really there. It was meerly a false vision of desire.

As i got out of my car and headed into the office i tried ignoring how you were walking behind me. I walked quickly trying to ignore you there but your words came too quick for me to catch my breath. "Would you talk the time to talk to me?" Your voice was calm and cool but it still stabbed me through my chest like a dart.

I continued walking at a rapid pace and spoke through my teeth barely moving my lips so that no one else could hear me or see me talking to myself. "Because you cant talk to someone who is dead." I looked around to see if anyone had noticed me speaking and no one had.

"spence, im right here. You hear me, you see me. Seeing is beleiving spence." You stepped in front of me and i could still see you. I naturally stopped and i looked down afraid to make eyecontact with someone who isnt there.