x~o~x~o~x~o

I sat in my chair as Spencer’s family and friends went to her casket and placed a flower on her tombstone.  

"Ashley," my mom called to me as she was walking towards me and took a seat.

"Mom, if you’re gonna yell please don’t. This isn’t a good time." I said as I looked at the ground.

The next thing I knew I felt her wrap her arms around me. "Ash, hun, it’s ok. your father and I still love you no matter what. But, you could have told us."

"I thought you would be mad. I was scared." I said as tears started to form again.

"Honey, we don’t care who you love. You’re our daughter and we are supposed to love you no matter what." she said as her hand rested on my fore arm. "And we always assumed you two were together. You girls were too touchy for best friends," she said with a chuckle.

"Thanks mom," I said as I brought her to a hug.

"For what?" she said.

"For understanding."

x~o~x~o~x~o

My head was drooping down when an older version of Spencer was walking away from my girl’s casket.

"Hi Mrs. Carlin," I said as she was walking down the aisle between the chairs. She nodded at my presence and continued  walking. "I’m sorry about Spencer," I said. She stopped walking and turned back to me. 

"Ashley," she said. "A parent is never supposed to bury their child."

"I’m really sorry. I wish I could have done something to prevent it." I said scared that she was going to start yelling.

"But…God has everyone’s lives set up. It was just God’s plan for my little girl." she said as she wiped her tears away. "Ashley, you made my daughter happy the last year she was alive. I’ve never seen her smiling for no reason at home or singing love songs in the shower," she said wtih a laugh. "I’m just glad she had you in her life."

"Thank you Mrs. Carlin." I said. With that Mrs. Carlin walked away. 

"That wasnt to bad," I said to myself.

 I was still sitting in the same chair I sat in after I talked about Spencer. Everyone was beginning to leave and I didn’t even bother to move.