Spencer gasped slightly, but Ashley didn’t seem too effected yet. The doctor seemed like a bit of a drama queen to her. Sure she threw up blood every once and a while, and sure her organs might not be in the best shape ever, but liver failure wasn’t on her list of worries. “So, does that mean I don’t get to go home tonight?”

The doctor heaved a distressed sigh, and Spencer’s jaw fell open. The girl’s apathy was impeccable, “Yes, that is what it means. Now, if you’ll excuse me I have other patients to attend to.”

“Ashley, you really are something else, you know that?” An aggravated Spencer spoke as soon as the man left the room. Her arms were folded and she had that incredulous look on her face that Ashley was all too familiar with. It was her I-can’t-believe-you-could-do-this face.

“What?” Ashley spoke, her hands rising slightly as she lifted her brows defensively, “You really believe that guy?”

“Do you really not care about me that much? Is that it?” Spencer accused, head shaking as she bore into her brown eyes.

“No, Spence, how could you ever think that? I love you!” The girl defended loudly, her head pounding from the tension.

“No, you /think/ you love me. If you really cared, you could never to this to yourself! Don’t you get it? Every time you hurt yourself, you hurt ME.” The blonde’s eyes watered and soon the clear liquid spilled over her lids and down her cheeks.

“I… I never meant to…” Ashley spoke more quietly this time, her eyes downcast because she couldn’t stand to see Spencer cry, “I do love you Spencer, even if I don’t show it the right way, I do. “

“Ash… I don’t want you to lose you…” Spencer uttered in a whisper as she sunk into a chair beside Ashley’s bed. She buried her face in her hands, unable to stop the flow of tears now that they’d started. If it was true that Ashley could never drink again, then it was almost unavoidable that she’d be dead within weeks.

“Shhh… You’re not going to lose me…” The brunette soothed softly, although she felt quite alien in this situation.

Spencer looked up at her with wide, vulnerable eyes. Ashley could practically see the girl’s heart breaking within their blue shimmer, “I think I already have…”

“No, Spence, don’t say that.” Ashley objected quickly her hand reaching out towards Spencer, who only pulled away, “Look… I’m going to… I’m going to try Spence. I’m going to try to get better, I promise you.”

Normally at this point Spencer would have rolled her eyes, mentioned something about all of Ashley’s previous ‘promises’, but there was something about the sincerity in the girl’s tone that stopped her. The real question was- did she think she could stand another disappointment? “Ash, you can’t just try. You have to get better, because your not going to get anymore chances.”

“Spencer, I swear. I’ll- I’ll go to rehab, do the 12 steps, whatever it takes.” Ashley spoke, gaining more courage although her voice still quivered. The idea of a life of sobriety was oddly terrifying to her.

The blonde heaved a sigh, her heart teetering on the edge. This girl had burned her so many times she’d developed a callus. Now she had to dig through that wall, trying to find a little piece of faith to place in the girl across from her. Eventually she looked up, her hand taking Ashley’s in her own and giving it a small squeeze of encouragement, “For what it’s worth, I believe you can do it.”

A wide and grateful smile graced Ashley’s lips and her eyes glowed with something resembling a small semblance of pride, “It’s worth more than you’ll ever realize.”