“Do you want to spend the day tomorrow?”

“I’d really like that.” I heard silence on the other line and I heard her lightly snore. I had kept Spencer up from her usual sleeping pattern. I held the phone near my ear, just listening to her breath and knowing she was close to me helped ease the ache of loneliness I felt tonight. Slowly, but surely I was finally able to sleep for the first time tonight.

–

I woke up hearing Spencer’s voice on the other line of the phone. “Ash? Ashley? Earth to Ashley.” I chuckled. “So you are alive?”

“What time is it?” My eyes were still shut since I was too lazy to open up my eyes and face the bright new day.

“Ten thirty, love. I’m sorry I fell asleep on you last night.”

“It’s alright. You were tired. I am going to get ready and then I’ll pick you up in a little while. Love you.”

“Love you, too, babe.” I hung up and began to get ready for my day with my girl, Spencer.

–

In a matter of a couple of hours, we managed to have breakfast at a diner, take a walk around the park, grab an ice cream cone from the ice cream truck, and now we were sitting at the bench at the park watching the other couples pass us by. She was eating her ice cream cone and noticed I was watching her. Spencer held out the cone for me and I had several bites from her ice cream. She looked at me and chuckled. “What?” Do I have something on my face? Was there a joke she hadn’t let me in?

Spencer pointed to the area of my lips indicating where the ice cream was at and then leaned in and licked the ice cream off of me. We had only been dating a couple of weeks and it was times like these I wished that I had gotten over my fear sooner, but as the saying goes it was better late than never.

I kissed the tip of her nose and began to tickle her. Spencer laughed uncontrollably. Hearing her laugh was so contagious so I laughed as well.

As corny as it sounded being with Spencer made me feel like I was finally complete. I didn’t feel any of the loneliness or emptiness I normally felt when I was alone. The other girls I dated were fun, but deep down inside I knew then that it wasn’t real. I ached from the emptiness of having someone, but still being so alone. Maybe I needed to go through all those relationships to appreciate what I have with Spencer, a home, a heart, and a life.