I understand why she doesn’t like to look at me, its difficult to keep your composure when all of these intense feelings are twirling around your heart and your head.

Her thumb strokes over my hand and the slow rhythm calms me down.

It’s changed again, the balance between us is on the rocks. In turn we are melting each other with sultry looks and delicate touches, and the other one is holding us up, being the backbone in our vulnerable moments.

A wolf whistle followed by adolescent boys’ laughter soon ruins the calmness, and we drop hands as if there is a painful electric charge shooting from Ashley’s warm palm to my own. We head off quickly towards our class not even honouring the heckling youths the privilege of a dirty look being tossed in their direction.

We walk towards our class, not looking at each other for fear of loosing ourselves. I think about tonight and I get butterflies, like I’ve never had before.

‘So…What time do you want me over tonight?’

There is a long pause and I can almost hear the cogs in Ashley’s brain turning in desperation to think of a cool and aloof response.

‘I don’t mind, when ever you’re free. 8 maybe?’ There is a long pause and we walk in silence until we reach the door of our class, Ashley reaches for the door handle and turns to face me.

‘I’ll drive you home after the movie.’

She turns quickly and walks into the class, where the rest of our class mates are sitting in silence jotting down notes from the board.

The butterflies in my stomach have gone, I’m disappointed, knocked back. I wasn’t expecting anything to happen, I want this to go slowly, but its almost like she’s rejecting me.

Thousands of thoughts start to flood in to my mind. Maybe the reason she can’t look at me isn’t because of the way her heart jumps into her mouth when she does, like it does me when I see her, maybe she’s regretting what happened?

Or, maybe she just doesn’t want to rush me? Maybe she wants it to be different with me, not just about sex?

Or, maybe she knows how I feel, and doesn’t want me to fall any deeper because she’s not falling for me?

There are so many possibilities. I can’t focus in this class, my head goes round and round, up and down, back and fourth.

Then it happens, I can feel her deep eyes boring a whole in the side of my neck. I turn slowly looking through the strands of hair that have fallen in front of my eyes, covering them so she cant notice I am looking straight back at her. She lowers her head and looks up at me from underneath her eyebrows, her glare is slow, but she studies me intensely from the top of my head all the way to my feet which I have slipped out of my sandals under the desk. As she gets to my feet I wriggle my toes like I’m waving at her. Quickly she looks up towards my face and I brush the hair out of my eyes, she looks away her cheeks flushing like I have never seen before, and then she glances back to check that I am still watching her.

I am.

I could watch her all day and night. For eternity.

She smiles.

All of the previous fears diminish.