Ch.9

    Ashley’s POV:

            We’ve been going to the shrink for a few weeks now. I can see Spencer is trying her best to fix everything between us. I get depressed when I think about whether I’m the problem. Of course, Spence never allows me to think about that for long. She’s trying to get me to trust her again. I felt her caress my body softly this morning, snuggling up against me. “Morning, Ash.” She said sweetly, licking my cheek. I smiled weakly back at her, allowing her to feel me up under the covers. My sex drive has been murdered by all the issues we’ve had the past month; I can’t stop thinking about how I cheated on her, how she cheated on me. I wonder if she ever made love to another girl the way she does to me. It just hurts too much, rally. “Come on, Ash. Normally you’d be panting and pulling me on top of you already.” She said, frowning. “Sorry.” I sighed, looking away. “Ashley, what is it?” she asked, cupping my face. She kissed me softly on the lips. “I love you, Ash, tell me what’s wrong.” “I, I’m sorry, Spence.” I choked out. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me; why am I so scared? Why is it I can’t be who you need me to be? Why can’t I even make love to you right now?” “Ash, there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re just under a lot of stress and pain. It’s largely my fault that you’re like this, and I’m sorry, babe… I’ll do anything it takes to fix this.” She said, holding me tightly. “Spencer, I-, I don’t deserve you.” I croaked. “I’m screwing up with you so badly.” “Ash, don’t say that. You’re the best thing that’s happened to me. Don’t ever think otherwise.” She stated firmly. “Let me love you.” She murmured, kissing down my jaw.

              “Ash?” “Hmm?” I asked. “Remember when your cousin kept trying to take me away from you during college?” “Yeah; I remember. Lauren’s such a bitch.” I muttered. “I didn’t ever stray from you, Ash. She came up to me and grinded against me from behind, and held me so tightly and closely to her that I couldn’t turn around and see who she was until she turned me around. I’ve always prided myself in being faithful to you, Ash, and I’m sorry I failed lately.” She said solemnly. I stroked Spencer’s head tenderly. “If I hadn’t gone out and done stupid things like cheat on you first, Spence…you wouldn’t have. It’s not really your fault. It’s mine.” I sighed. “No, Ash. I chose to cheat on you, knowing it would hurt you, and it has. I want to do everything I can to make things right again. Ashley Davies, I want to marry you. I don’t want to let our relationship slip away because of my stupidity.” She said urgently. “Ash, don’t you understand? I want to marry you. I want to be your wife, and grow old with you and have your children and raise a family together with you. I’m not ever going to give up on you, so don’t give up on us.” “I love you.” I said simply, pulling her on top of me.