CHAPTER NINE

Ashley pulled into the beach parking lot and turned off her car. She sat, wondering if seeing Spencer was the right thing to do. As she looked around, she noticed Spencer’s figure leaning up against the pier’s post. Too late to turn back now, might as well just get it over with. Ashley got out of her car and started down to the tide where Spencer stood. As Ashley got close Spencer turned around to meet Ashley’s face. Brown met blue and both girls stood still, forgetting everything that surrounded them. Ashley was the first to break eye contact and moved closer to Spencer, who opened her arms and pulled Ashley into a tight hug.

Ashley started to cry as soon as her body was pulled into Spencer’s. Too many years were lost because of the past, and both girls wished that they could’ve fixed everything. Spencer pulled away but her arms were still wrapped around Ashley’s waist. Ashley looked up at Spencer and whispered “I missed you so much, Spence.” Spencer pulled Ashley back and nodded, knowing that if she spoke her voice would betray her. The girls pulled apart and sat down on the rocks that lied underneath the pier. Spencer was the first to speak. “How are you, Ashley?” “I’ve been good. I… shit I don’t know.” “What’s wrong?” “Spencer, I have a life again. I’m happy finally. I never thought I’d be able to be happy after everything that happened. But then I met someone in the hospital, Natalie, and we just clicked. We became best friends and everything just fell into place. I thought that she could be the one to replace my broken heart…”

Spencer looked at Ashley again, “But?” Ashley sighed “But here I am, standing right in front of you, and I’ve never felt more put together than ever before.” Spencer looked shocked at Ashley’s confession. “Ashley, I really think we just need to talk about everything. There’s something I really want for you to know… I just can’t tell you. Not yet anyways.” Ashley looked away from Spencer. “What Spence, another planned beating? More bashing for being gay? What more could you possibly have to say to me but you have to wait?” Spencer looked away as tears fell from her eyes. “Forget it Ash… it wasn’t too important.” Ashley shook her head and stood up. “You know… I’ve been telling myself for years that you’ve changed… that you’re a better person, and everyone else has told me not to count on it. Thank you for confirming everyone else’s suspicions.” Ashley got up and walked back to her car, got in, and drove away towards the Carlin’s house to Natalie.

“I was in love with you, Ashley. That’s why I was so afraid. That’s why I couldn’t do anything about it when you were getting hurt. I was afraid. But I’m not afraid, no, not anymore. I love you with all my heart, Ashley Nicole Davies.” With that, Spencer let the tears come as they continued to fall until nightfall, when she finally realized that nothing good could ever come from her and Ashley. When she realized that she and Ashley could never be together. It was over when Ashley really said it was, and Spencer didn’t fight it then.

She was going to fight it now.