Previously

September 1, 2005 5:00 am PST

I practically jump up out of bed! My heart is racing, I’m covered in sweat, and I’m dizzy as all fuck!

Ashley: “What the hell?”

I glance over at my alarm clock- its 5 friggin am? What woke me up? No one is home. I strain my hears to listen hard. I don’t think anyone broke in. I hope I can get back to sleep.

My dream. I was dreaming of something… the beach? And someone? Blue eyes, or was that the ocean? No, I was dreaming about someone with blue eyes. And things falling. My heart is killing me. I feel like I forgot something…or someone…

September 1, 2005 7:30 am PST

I could not fathom that I would ever be without your love 

Never imagined I’d be sitting here beside myself

‘Cause I didn’t know you, ’cause I didn’t know me

But I thought I knew everything

I never felt

The feeling that I’m feeling now that I don’t hear your voice

Or have your touch and kiss your lips ’cause I don’t have a choice

Oh, what I wouldn’t give to have you lying by my side

Right here, ’cause baby

(We belong together)

What is that noise? Oh, the alarm, great! Shut up, Mariah, it’s too early for that. The first day of school, ugh. What can’t I wait for more? Seeing my teachers? Going to classes? Oh, I know! I can’t wait to see all those assholes that treat me like shit! I shouldn’t go, I mean really, who’s gonna make me? Mom is at her new boyfriend’s, dad’s…wherever the hell dad is, and well…that’s it. Well at least I was able to fall back asleep. My dream! I forgot about that. That was weird…I probably shouldn’t drink so much, who am I kidding, how else am I gonna make it through this year?

I pull up at school, park, take a deep breath and let it out slowly. I’m running a tad bit late, but I had to stop for the coffee. I make a quick run to my locker. All these fucking books, anyone want to take bets as to how often I actually open them? Nope, no takers? Aw shit! I dropped my coffee. Wow, déjà vu. Whatever, off too class.