“Well look who decided to come home!” she said with a grin, good she was in a joking mood; maybe this won’t be so hard… aside from having Spencer on my brain.

“Yeah, sorry, I went out for dinner.”

“Mhm … Spencer right?” this time, losing her smile.

“Yup. Spencer,” I replied leading our conversation inside the mansion.

“How’d it go?”

“Fine.”

“Fine? Just fine? Come on Ash with everything that happened between you two. Plus your little crush on her, I know it didn’t go fine. So start talkin girl.”

“Uh Jess I’m tired, how bout we just go upstairs.”

“Oh …” she answered, feeling a bit dejected.

We trudged upstairs, I gave her some clothes and we climbed in bed. We turned to face each other. I wasn’t too tired to talk, just didn’t want to talk to her about the love of my life, when I’m the love of hers.

“Not that I’m not happy to see you, but what are you doing here? In LA I mean. Aren’t you supposed to be in Nor Cal visiting your grandma in SF?”

“Wellll we were supposed to leave tonight but issues with the flight and whatever. So that means we’re leaving tomorrow night. Which also means I thought I’d come stay the night with my perfect girlfriend.” She smiled wide. She looked so happy, and my heart was breaking. I didn’t realize till that moment what I had done. I cheated on Jessica. At that moment, I wanted to die. How could I do that to her? I owe her the world. After every thing she’s done for me, she’s been with me through so much since Spencer bailed on me. She was most defiantly the best friend someone could ask for. God, and the way she looks at you; it’s like you’re the only one she sees, throughout all the chaos around you, you’re the only one she sees. She was positively the best girl friend someone could ask for. She was all these amazing things, and yet she wasn’t Spence. I suppose that’s why I did what I did tonight. No one will ever compare to Spencer. No matter how much I love Jess, she won’t fill that hole in my heart that Spencer created.