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    The Architecture of Falling… – (Chapter: Rupture)

    Story written on November 9, 2007 by goaskalice.
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    Genre(s): N/A
    Rating: N/A
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    Number of Comments: 28
    Words: 1517
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=16770
    Author Notes:

    A different perspective. Spencer finally loses control.

    “Then go.”

    “I can’t,” I say softly.

    It’s the only time throughout this entire ordeal that I’ve actually felt cruel. She couldn’t handle the truth right now. It was absolutely the last thing she needed. But at the moment—at that very specific moment—that was just the way I felt. And I needed to say it. These unsaid words were setting up camp on my chest and some of them had to come off before they utterly and completely suffocated me.

    “Why?”

    “Because I just can’t.”

    “Then try,” she said, finally seeing how uncomfortable I suddenly felt.

    “I’ve tried.”

    She nodded again, but this time it was much more confident. She had regained an ounce of her power. And with it, she chose to kiss me. She risked it almost immediately.

    It didn’t go unnoticed by me. In fact, it went so noticed that my unsaid words manifested themselves in liquid form and began to fall down my face.

    I was revealed.

    Betrayed by gravity.

    “Are you…are you crying?” she asked, pulling away from me to look into my pooling eyes.

    “I guess so.”

    “But why? Is it me? Did I do something wrong?”

    “No, you’re…you…”

    “Are you ok?”

    “No, no I’m not ok.”

    And there it was.

    The root of everything.

    “You have to talk to me, Spencer. You have to talk to somebody before you explode.”

    No sooner had she said it did it happen. She had become my personal prophet and she could only watch her prediction breathe life as I ruptured.

    My secrets oozed and crept out of hiding, shivering and splitting through my tear ducts. I just deflated. She punctured a fine hole in my protective coating and I absolutely deflated, leaving behind fragments of an inadequately glued together shell of Spencer Carlin.

    “Oh, Spence,” she whispered as she held me, “it’s ok. Please, please let it out.”

    I would’ve responded, but my body was too busy flooding and shaking against her for speech.

    I cried for my mother and my father, and for the rift that had come between my brothers and I cried because of the losses, and I cried for the way everything was supposed to turn out, and I cried for myself. I cried for this version of myself that I no longer agreed with or recognized.

    And somehow after it was all said and done, I cried for the gentle brunette in front of me who had walked into my mess unknowingly and had stayed around to sort it out despite me.

    “Hey,” she said after my shaking had finally subsided, “this is good, ok? This is what needs to happen. You have to let it out at some point. You can’t carry it all because you’ll drown. It’ll just drown you. And you have to let someone else help shoulder the load. I would be honored if you would let that person be me. At least for now.”

    I nod, wiping the remainder of the tears from my face, “Is that really what you want?”

    “That’s really what I want.”

    So right there in the comfort of her bed, I unloaded two years of baggage. Immediately feeling a million pounds lighter, I made room for her instead. I replaced the load with Ashley Davies and I let her sweet, beautiful sincerity fill me to the brim.

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    Comments

    1. YES!!!! FINALLY!!! Spencer opens up. I think everybody was waiting for this. I love this story, it so many emotions and that only makes it better. PMASAP!!!!!!

    2. That was so beautiful. And a step in the right direction. Spencer admitting that she’s not okay and crying for all her losses was good. The best part was that Ashley wanted to be there for her and carry part of her load. That’s probably something that Spencer has not had much of in the past two years, finally having someone to help her carry her burden of loss. Beautifully executed.

    5. umm… i’m speechless… i have no idea how you write and portray such emotion! it’s amazes me ever single time i read your writting! this last chapter really touched me… “My secrets oozed and crept out of hiding, shivering and splitting through my tear ducts. I just deflated. She punctured a fine hole in my protective coating and I absolutely deflated, leaving behind fragments of an inadequately glued together shell of Spencer Carlin.” i looooved that line… so deep and full of emotion… oh and i checked out your myspace link and all i have to say is 415 for life haha

    7. YES!!!! FINALLY!!! Spencer opens up. I think everybody was waiting for this. I love this story, it so many emotions and that only makes it better. PMASAP!!!!!!

    8. That was so beautiful. And a step in the right direction. Spencer admitting that she’s not okay and crying for all her losses was good. The best part was that Ashley wanted to be there for her and carry part of her load. That’s probably something that Spencer has not had much of in the past two years, finally having someone to help her carry her burden of loss. Beautifully executed.

    11. umm… i’m speechless… i have no idea how you write and portray such emotion! it’s amazes me ever single time i read your writting! this last chapter really touched me… “My secrets oozed and crept out of hiding, shivering and splitting through my tear ducts. I just deflated. She punctured a fine hole in my protective coating and I absolutely deflated, leaving behind fragments of an inadequately glued together shell of Spencer Carlin.” i looooved that line… so deep and full of emotion… oh and i checked out your myspace link and all i have to say is 415 for life haha

    13. i have a feeling it may take a bit more for spencer to really give her self to ashley, so much has happened to her but now she has someone to take care of her and let her be herself without the protective shell…

    14. i have a feeling it may take a bit more for spencer to really give her self to ashley, so much has happened to her but now she has someone to take care of her and let her be herself without the protective shell…

    15. “But at the moment—at that very specific moment—that was just the way I felt. And I needed to say it. These unsaid words were setting up camp on my chest and some of them had to come off before they utterly and completely suffocated me.” WOW! You are an amazing writer. This whole chapter rocked!

    16. “But at the moment—at that very specific moment—that was just the way I felt. And I needed to say it. These unsaid words were setting up camp on my chest and some of them had to come off before they utterly and completely suffocated me.” WOW! You are an amazing writer. This whole chapter rocked!

    17. Wow… I’m so speechless right now because a tear too has fallen down my face. I think you hit a personal cord with me. I think Spencer and I are carrying similar loads of pain. Spencer has certainly stumbled on luck to at least have someone to let it all out for. However much she chooses to let out. Not everyone has that privilege of love. Wonderful writing. Still so intense. Update soon.

    18. Wow… I’m so speechless right now because a tear too has fallen down my face. I think you hit a personal cord with me. I think Spencer and I are carrying similar loads of pain. Spencer has certainly stumbled on luck to at least have someone to let it all out for. However much she chooses to let out. Not everyone has that privilege of love. Wonderful writing. Still so intense. Update soon.

    21. Poets form cryptic words to touch the deepest part of a soul; the inner beauty of each word is hidden beneath the surface and if you dig deep enough you find a treasure that can quite literally change a heart. Talented fiction writers are poets in their own right, they speak honestly from their heart, allowing their vulnerabilities to be viewed by the world and willing to sacrifice themselves to the critics of the world. You share the same gift as a poet in that you have woven your heart through this beautifully written story and touched mine…thank you.

    22. Poets form cryptic words to touch the deepest part of a soul; the inner beauty of each word is hidden beneath the surface and if you dig deep enough you find a treasure that can quite literally change a heart. Talented fiction writers are poets in their own right, they speak honestly from their heart, allowing their vulnerabilities to be viewed by the world and willing to sacrifice themselves to the critics of the world. You share the same gift as a poet in that you have woven your heart through this beautifully written story and touched mine…thank you.

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