Part 27

The escape

Bathed in sweat I have woken this morning. With it is cold, I tremble, I am afraid. All my courage, all my strength, all my plans … everything has left me. I am not able to, Tina. I am sorry in such a way, but I am not able to. If you saw me now so, a small heap of misery, own courage broken down like a chart house. What have I thought to me only, besides? What did all that have to do? If I have thought real, I could simply knock at your door and say: "Hello, how it goes for you?", I could simply go as by chance to the planet in which you enjoy with Alice, Dana, Shane and Kit just your Sunday breakfast and ask whether was one more place free at your table? How childish naively I am, nevertheless to believe, it could be easy, be there simply and everything would be regulated from only. I should have written the letter, as well as it has said Losingthelight. But no, to Bette Porter, nevertheless, not, to Bette Porter realizes no well-intentioned advice of others, to Bette Porter has her own head and with him she still wants directly by the wall. And once again I have got a mighty bump. Does condemn once more, have I learnt then nothing at all during the whole years? Yes, I should have written the letter instead of waking here bathed in sweat in a bed more fully of wonderful recollections. I remember as if it had been yesterday:

When I came from the shower, you were already in the bed. You sat upright with the back in the back wall leant, dressed with a cream-white sateen shirt, pulled the cover up to the hips. The outlines of your nipples drew themselves in the material, allowed to foresee the beauty of your breasts. You smiled at me, expectantly, with the rogue in the eyes who seemed to say that he got everything what always he also wanted. I got slowly closer, my heart started to hit, nothing but and nothing but. "Can you hear this?" "What hear?" "My heart." You got up, positioned yourself before me, glided with your hand under my bathrobe and laid them between my breasts. "Feel hearing not, but and I want more of you." I love your expectations and it did friends to me to increase your urge, while I corresponded to this not immediately. I approached your face, thus near that I could feel to your breath.